Saturday, February 11, 2012

I IS SICK!!!

I  IS SICK!  Since we saw THE HELP I have joked every day with my husband saying,  "I is good, I is smart and I IS A CANCER PATIENT".  HA HA HA HA HA!   We chuckle a bit which at least helps bring some HUMOR to this SITUATION!   I guess I surprised myself because I wasn't really expecting to get SICK!  I am so THANKFUL for the weekend and for a chance to compose myself  and regroup ready to head into week #3 of my treatment!  UGH UGH UGH!!  CAN I SAY IT AGAIN????  UGH!!  On Wednesday my sore throat went COMPLETELY away.  I was so THANKFUL because it HURT!  What I didn't foresee happening to me was the AWFUL COLD that came on!  I have tried to stay away from places where SICK people are but when you go each day to a place where SICK people are plentiful, you have to expect that possibility!  When my youngest (KELSI) was just one-year-old I was diagnosed with a disease that came from NO WHERE!!  The disease is called SARCOIDOSIS and happened to exhibit itself in my lungs!   I was treated with huge doses of steroids and went into remission.  The aftermath of that disease is that my lungs are permanently scarred.  I have not had a lot of problems since that time ONLY when I get a cold.  It moves QUICKLY to my lungs!  GOSH! 

It took me until 1:30 today to GET READY for the day!  I sometimes wish I could just stay in bed and not do anything but it makes me feel worse!  I wake up in the mornings and take a look in the mirror - NOT a good idea UNTIL I put my makeup on.   Several times a day BUBBA tells me how beautiful I am.  Dang - he has never been a liar and now that he has taken to the lying, I love him EVEN MORE!
I needed to wash and trim my hair which took at least an hour longer than usual.  So here I am, makeup on, fully dressed with NO WHERE to go!!  I am trying to bribe BUBBA to take me out for just a little while - hopefully to places where there are not a lot of SICK PEOPLE!  I need a good book to read - I mean a REALLY GOOD book so I am taking suggestions!  Who thought I would become a BOOK READER????  I usually don't have time for that!

One interesting "side effect" of being treated with chemotherapy and radiation is that my sense of TASTE has changed.  Who KNEW?  Some of the things I once loved to eat do not taste good any more.  Last Saturday we took a drive on a beautiful sunny day to Park City.  I was feeling really good and we decided to eat at the Baja Cantina which is there by the lifts.  I ordered my usual, the seafood enchilada and could not wait to eat!  UGH - I took one bite and I couldn't handle the taste. I ended up with a side of rice which tasted really good!  Sunday I made a great rib recipe for the Super Bowl.  YUCK!  I had the potatoes and peas!   Throughout the week I have had to really think hard about what sounded good!  I have a hard time with lots of rich food and have to stick to simple things. Rice, noodles and potatoes taste good. I  DON'T eat much meat and by admitting this I know my daughter Kamie is jumping up and down with this statement because she is vegetarian!  In the morning I eat some canned pears - every day with a piece of toast.  I cannot do much lunch cause I have radiation at 1 pm.  There are LOTS of side effects you COULD get, vomiting, constipation, diarrhea, nausea, watery eyes, etc.  I have had some nausea and one of the others.  I will not get specific with you but I said I would be honest.  I have to be VERY careful about what I eat and where I am because it is HARD to leave home!  HA HA HA HA HA!   I am losing weight, retaining water which makes me look a little puffy. 

Today the thought of Kentucky Fried Chicken makes me feel REALLY REALLY GOOD!!  I want a thigh and a drum stick.  I can't wait to get that for dinner! I can handle the potatoes and corn but NOT the gravy!   I think tomorrow I will make steamed vegetables with cheese and cream sauce.   That was a regular of mine when we had Prestwich Farms here in Orem.  We occasionally go to the mouth of Spanish Fork Canyon where Prestwich Farms still exists.  I don't think I could make it there today so tomorrow I will make it myself!  I have to snack a little bit which is not NORMAL for me.  I LOVE the KETTLE Salt and Vinegar BAKED chips but cannot even eat them anymore!  I have found some of the trail mixes sound good - only with nuts and raisins - I have to pick the chocolate out of it before I can eat it.  Weird I know - but that works for me NOW!

My brother Mark works in Gastroenterology at St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City.  He text me one day this week asking how I was doing.  I replied pretty well - that I had a little nausea, ETC.  I told him I pray hard and each day as I am  laying on the table in radiation I pray for a BUTT SHIELD!   HA HA HA HA HA   He immediately wrote back and said, "Bobby - what in the SAM HILL is a BUTT SHIELD"?   Once again - HA HA HA HA HA!   I told him I have NO CLUE - but because I am EXPOSED to the radiation and it COULD burn my BUTT - I pray hard for a BUTT SHIELD!   I learned a long time ago that if you have FAITH and pray with PURE INTENT and SPECIFICS, your prayers will be answered.  Of course - NOT always the way you want them answered but nonetheless, your prayers will be answered.  So I got VERY SPECIFIC and I pray ALWAYS for a BUTT SHIELD.  Again - HUMOR makes such a difference.  Perhaps it could just be in my mind but SO FAR SO GOOD - no BURN yet!! 

This JOURNEY has changed me as a human being.  It helps to incorporate HUMOR throughout the day and I am FULL of it!  Each day I learn something new and it is an incredibly HUMBLING experience.  I will NEVER be the same and I am THANKFUL for the growth.  I will not put up with ANY DRAMA of any kind.  I immediately nip it in the BUTT!  I listen better, I love more and I try to be an instrument in helping others!  I need to get better, return to my normal strength and health and  then you'd better WATCH OUT!   I cannot wait!

I still need so many prayers.  I know people are putting my name in the Temples.  The last time I was at the Mt. Timpanogos Temple was right before I started treatment.  There was so much coughing and sneezing going on and I just cannot run that risk right now so I am totally DEPENDENT upon those of you who will help me!  PLEASE do that for me.  I am so THANKFUL for my BLESSINGS and I do COUNT them!   There are many.  We all have so many blessings - please do not take them for granted.  Take time to count your blessings and I think you will be amazed at how blessed we ALL are!  GOD is GREAT!  Please pray for my friend Marjorie - she needs all of your prayers!

My THOUGHT FOR THE DAY is a good one.  It has helped me so much to just relax and go with the FLOW!

"LIFE just IS.  You have to FLOW with it.  Give yourself to the MOMENT and LET it HAPPEN".    LOVE AND HUGS TO ALL!!

4 comments:

  1. Smiles and tears and prayers, dear one. You are loved by so many. Thank you for sharing your heart and soul. Gary

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  2. Love you Bobby Jo. We'll have to drop by some trail mix soon. I'm sure Dillon will have no problem picking out the chocolate for you.

    I love love love the wives of Israel Series by Orson Scott Card. It is a story with the wives of Abraham, Isac and Jacob as the main characters. Let me know if you're interested. I have them all.

    -Amy

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  3. God bless you, my friend. I know how hard this is - I went through it 24 years ago. My prayers are with you.

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  4. Reading was my salvation. I read the complete series of "The Work and The Glory". I loved having the next book right there to start on, and not have to worry about finding something else. I am so thankful for that series for so many reasons, and I learned SO much. It was my escape! Oranges were the only food that didn't change for me (as much). Nothing tasted good. but I did get down a little chicken noodle soup each day. Be sure to drink your water, even though it's NASTY! They told me not to go near anyone, so I really tried not to. The battle to just get through each day is bad enough without other illness' addded in the mix! Hang in there! Life is GOOD, and we have so much to be thankful for! This journey really does change us, and it's all good! Love and Miracles!
    Barbara

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