QUIET REFLECTIONS OF GRATITUDE

Today is my FIVE year anniversary!   Wednesday November 30, 2011 I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer during a routine colonoscopy.   Trust me when I say -A colonoscopy can save your life!  On that day five years ago they took me right from the surgical center across the road to the radiology department for CT scans.  It was pretty routine except for two spots that showed up in my right lung.  Because I had had a previous lung disease (sarcoidosis), it was hard to determine whether these spots were scar tissue from that previous disease years before or whether they were new metastases from the colon cancer.  In January of 2012 I started 30 chemotherapy and radiation treatments.  Those ended in March.  I was able to recuperate until May when I underwent surgery to remove a part of my colon at the Huntsman Hospital in Salt Lake City.  I was given an ileostomy which I had during the summer of 2012.  On the last day of August of that year I was once again at the Huntsman Hospital to have everything reconnected.  That was a HUGE blessing.  There is not a day that goes by that I do not suffer from the effects of all this havoc wreaked on my body!  But I am TRULY GRATEFUL for LIFE.  To LIVE!  I pray to make a DIFFERENCE!!

For the past five years I have been  monitored with CT scans and one PET scan in November of 2013.  At that time in 2013  the PET scan  showed that one of the lung nodules had grown to 1 cm.  I was scheduled for lung surgery to remove that one tumor - which was a  metastases from the colorectal cancer.  The other spot took the whole five years to get to 1 cm.  I had scans in October of this year that showed the other nodule had grown to the 1 cm size.  It was determined it would be removed surgically again and I was scheduled for surgery TODAY - November 30, 2016 - my 5 year anniversary day at the Huntsman Hospital once again in SLC.  For the past three weeks I have undergone every test basically known to man!!!  Cardiac evaluations - breathing tests - scans - you name it.  The last thing on the list before the scheduled surgery today was the PET scan.  That was accomplished at the Huntsman Hospital Tuesday November 22nd - a week ago - right before THANKSGIVING.  With a PET scan you are injected with glucose and then you remain quiet for 90 minutes.  The glucose will STICK to any cancer that is in your body.   I had not heard the results so on Wednesday I asked my oncologist, Dr. Bott (he is in Provo) to check on the results.  He called me that evening.  The news was not as good as I had hoped it would be.  We of course knew about the spot in the lung - which once removed you are cured until another one grows - but there aren't any more.  We did not know there was a new spot right behind my tailbone.  UGH!  Not the news I was hoping to hear.  Not the best - but certainly NOT the worst!

That Wednesday evening as I was deep in THANKSGIVING day preparations, Dr. Bott told me he did not think I should continue with the lung surgery that was scheduled for today - and that he had taken the liberty to contact a Dr. Brandon Barney who is a radiation oncology specialist here in Provo at the Huntsman/Intermountain Clinic.  He told me to call Dr. Barney's office to schedule an appointment.  Here is where another tender mercy occured.  You can trust me when I say this whole 5 year experience has been FULL of tender mercies!  Dr. Brandon Barney is the son of my first cousin - Cindy!  Her mom and my dad are brother and sister.  Dr. Barney truly has my best interest in any of the decisions that are made.  He has studied extensively at the MAYO Clinic in Minnesota.  He is very specialized in the treatment that he does.

I made an appointment with Dr. Barney for this morning - the morning I was scheduled to have surgery - but needed to make sure this was what the doctors thought was best.  Dr. Barney had a conversation with my lung doctor at the Huntsman Hospital on Monday of this week.  They determined that Dr. Barney would treat me at this time.  So Monday evening the schedule fell into place.  Tuesday surgery plans were cancelled

Now to Tuesday evening.  My brother-in-law Dr. Lee Bahr is a radiologist.  He called me from Chicago last night - not knowing before he spoke to my sister, that surgery had been cancelled and I was going to go with Dr. Barney.  Yesterday in Chicago at the Radiology Conference, he listened to 17 papers on different ways to treat tumors  - all over the body.  There are techniques that are available that were not available probably even 5 years ago.  He said I thought of you, Bobby, when I heard some of these papers.  You do not have to go through with surgery.  I told him of my visit that would happen this morning.

I met with Dr Barney. He uses different techniques that will ZAP not only the tumor in my lung - but also behind my tailbone.  He said he would have me all treated and completed the week before Christmas.  This was such great news to me.  No open lung surgery!!   These new techniques can treat just the same - but without the trauma of surgery.

I am GRATEFUL.  I do NOT know why my life continues to be spared.  You can trust me when I say I do NOT take one day for granted.  These six babies are my WHY! Simone, Lukas, Stella, Charlotte, Zigmund and Johnny.  I did not know that I could love them as dearly as I do.  They are my everything!  Along with my 4 children and of course my WONDERFUL husband.  I would not know what to do without him.  I love him dearly!  He does Christ-like acts of service for so many in quiet, unassuming ways.  He is  a GREAT man!   I love my nieces and nephews and my siblings every bit as much.  They are DEAR to me and I am grateful for them.  I hope to always help them in any way that is needed!

I KNOW that my work on this earth is not complete.  I have had dear friends and family members - diagnosed after me - who are no longer with us.  They are some of the BEST people I have ever met.  I love them dearly.  All I can say is that their work must have been completed on this earth.  There are no whys or wherefores.  I believe that when your time is up - you are finished.  I have been the recipient of such CHRIST LIKE love and SERVICE.  I have reciprocated that love and service to others.  There is not one day that goes that I don't pray hard to be an instrument in God's hands.  To help others and lift them up and TRULY be there for them!  I am truly GRATEFUL.   If you have cancer and   you do not know about some of these new treatments - please contact me.  People who have full skeletal metastases can be treated.  I am here for anyone who needs a helping hand.  I try to be of service every day of my life.  I am GRATEFUL.  I will have to go through the treatments and I am anxious and happy to do so.  I will endure those treatments well and I will be grateful when they are complete.  For now I am ALIVE!  I am so GRATEFUL to be here!  To continue to complete my work on the earth!

If you are struggling in any way - please take a moment to COUNT your BLESSINGS.  If you truly do this you will see the HAND OF GOD in your life.  He is there!   Not always how you HOPE HE is but I can promise you - GOD is there for ALL of us!  Thank you for your prayers in my behalf.  I FEEL them.  GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!   LOVE AND HUGS TO ALL!!