A LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN....Before Round #4

I started Round #4 yesterday!!  I just mowed the front lawn so I think I am doing well so far with this round of treatments.  The weather is cloudy and it is so pleaseant outside!  My favorite kind of a day!  Count your Many BLESSINGS!! 

I spent a few days this past week at a place I call "A LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN!! I had an extra week off of the chemo treatments to attend the Frischknecht Family Reunion at Ferron Reservoir! This is a place my dad and his siblings loved to go as children. The tradition continues with cousins and now their children and grandchildren!! The group now numbers in the hundreds. A GREAT family tradition!! Kerm and I have gone for 32 years, missing only one year for his class reunion in California. We took our three kids including a six wee old baby for the first time in 1980!! Such a GREAT tradition!!  While I was undergoing chemo and radiation in the Jan-Feb-March time frame I would lay on the table and think of Ferron.  It was more beautiful than I could think of on that table!

My dad, Neil C Frischknecht was born and raised in Manti,Utah.   We took the kids by the MANTI HOUSE where my dad was actually born!  My Uncle Dean still owns and maintains the MANTI HOUSE.  In fact some of his grandkids were there and we were able to go inside and show the kids the house which has not changed!   My dad would be 94 this year.  Uncle Dean Frischknecht is 92 and still kicking!  Uncle Don Frischknecht will be 88 this year and is still kicking HARD!   It is comforting to know they are still here to continue sharing memories and remind me of my dad!!

At some point in time my mom and dad moved to Ephraim. I lived there until I was 9 years old when we moved to Provo, Utah. My dad's mom was Elda Christensen. She married Wilford Frischknecht and they combined their efforts to run the sheep farm pictured in the Mayfield area. The Frischknechts are one of the biggest sheep raisers in the State of Utah. The farm is well over a century old and continues to this day run by my cousins Joe and Paul Frischknecht. It is a great part of our heritage!! We head to Mayfield to go up 12 mile over the top to the Ferron Reservoir!

We took our three grandchildren, Simone, Lukas and Stella. We had a wonderful time and I would not have missed it for the world!! It is known the reunion occurs every last weekend in July. It is no secret. It is EVERY year!! The family members know. At 9000 feet I had complete Internet access and phone service. Yay for modern technology!!

Today I started round four of the chemo I have decided to continue. I am taking other agents which people claim cure cancer. So with all that I will be a winner. One of my classmates from high school said he saw me in his dreams the other night and I was a winner. I LOVE LOVE that he shared that with me!! With the extra week off my blood counts had come up a little so on with the fanny pack until tomorrow!

I was given a blessing before I went to chemo by my BUBBA! Last time it took two hours to access my port with lots of sticks and then they still had to draw blood from my arm -- the reason I got the port was to avoid arm sticks!!!   When I went  yesterday I told them they got only ONE STICK in my chest. Last time it was more!! She stuck me and could not get the blood. I told my husband "Bubba you gave me a blessing. What's up with that?!". They had me drop and hug my knees and had blood in less than five minutes. So it worked. I am so THANKFUL!!

Today I am feeling pretty normal and I know that if I am to WIN this battle, already knowing that the cancer is gone - I have to PUSH through eacn and every day.  I refuse to give up and I will be that WINNER that I need to be.

I am thankful for the Many Many Prayers offered in my behalf.  My family still needs them.  We pray for all of those that pray for us on a nightly basis.  I feel the love and I KNOW and have FAITH that it works.  I am truly BLESSED.  I have ANGELS attending on this earth and in HEAVEN.  You will NEVER make me think otherwise because I KNOW!!  I FEEL and I BELIEVE!!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

"The Trick is NOT How Much Pain You Feel  - -  But How Much JOY you feel.  Any IDIOT Can Feel Pain.  Life Is Full of Excuses to Feel pain, Excuses NOT to LIVE!!....  EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES!!"

Remember - We ALL have EXCUSES and Life I Said Before - They are Like Sweat Glands - They ALL STINK!!  I REFUSE To Be An Excuse or Even USE An EXCUSE!  I Choose to have JOY!!

GOD BLESS US ALL!  Love and HUGS!!!!!


Uncle Kasey in the canoe with the KIDS!!



Beautiful Simone - trying her new fishing pole!

Lukas on the left with his cousin Adam Johnson  Uncle Kasey being PATIENT!!



MY BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF HEAVEN!!



The Original Farm still in operation today!

Gramps is the Breakfast CHAMP!  Eggs, bacon, pancakes, juice and milk!  Make my BABIES HAPPY!!  And YES!  That extra plate is MINE!!

Gramps with Beautiful STELLA!  Love that girl!!

FYI,,,,,,I Am NOT Dying.....I Am Becoming a Cancer Survivor!!!!

I have been reminded a couple of times to let people know that I am NOT DYING!!!  I am undergoing treatment for the cancer that I think is GONE!  The treatment, to be honest - SUCKS!!  And where in the world did I ever learn to speak that word?????  Trust me -  I am real and I am going to tell it like it is.  I am NOT DYING!

Last Monday I had my THIRD chemo dose!  Yay for ME!  3/8.  I first go in and they take blood through the port in my chest to see what my blood counts show.  Only problem?  They could not make it work!!  So they finally took it out of my arm - after about two hours!  I then met with Dr. Bott before they decided how to treat me.  Usually you just see hm once a month but he wants to see me every two weeks because of my reactions to the STUFF!  We had an honest, frank discussion about introducing the OXILIPLATIN again.  The course consists of the OXILIPLATIN, 5 FU, and Leukovorin.  After our discussion and the symptoms I had and continue to have because of that FIRST treatment, we have decided that I will not take the OXILIPLATIN again.  YAY!  Made my day.  To be honest thought, I did not sleep much Sunday night.  I KNOW that I am in CHARGE of myself and my treatment, but I also want to be that SURVIVOR I am talking about. 

Can I tell you what has helped me so much???    Playing WORDS WITH FRIENDS on my iphone!!   I love that game.  I also think that it helps your brain stimulation, especially through the middle of the night.  My friend Dave Craig sent me an instant message that night asking why I was still awake because we were playing the game.  I told him I could not sleep because of what COULD happen to me in the morning.  We played until about 3 am.  It helped me so much and I love him for that.  He honestly DOUBLES my score every single time I play him but its all fun and takes my mind off stuff late at night!!  I play with my friend KayLynn and my nephews and really people all over the world!!  I LOVE IT!!

After the visit with the doctor you go to a chair for your HOOK UPS!  First they give you an anti-nausea medicine which takes about 20 minutes to drip in.  The medicine lasts for approximately 30 hours.  Then the Leukovorin is introduced into the line and that takes about 2 1/2 hours.  At the end a Bolus of 5 FU is pushed into the line and then comes that trusty FANNY PACK!  It has the pump with the rest of the 5 FU that takes until Wednesday to run out.  Wednesday I go back and out comes the line that has been pumping that STUFF into the port in my chest.  I do pretty well Monday and Tuesday and even into Wednesday.  I mean I feel nausea, tired, and all of that but it is doable because of PILLS!!  I love those PILLS!!  Wednesday after the pump comes off comes the Nausea, feeling like I have a UTI, not to mention the yeast I have not only in my mouth but ALL over!   Don't let me forget about the moutoh sores!!   So YES - I love those PILLS!  A nausea pill, a UTI pill, a yeast pill!  Seriously?  I HATE pills and have never been a pill popper but at night comes the Benadryl -  not for allergies - FOR SLEEP!!  By Thursday that is pretty much a stay close to the bed day.  I get up and get ready and do the CHORES I need to do around the house but it is a sick sick sick day.  Friday getting a little better and by Saturday I do pretty well! 

You then have the WHOLE next week to feel better and to get ready to start all over again!  Because of my FAMILY REUNION next week, I get that week off!  YAY - An extra week to feel even better!!  Cannot Wait because this summer we are pretty much on STAYCATIONS!!   Not much of a vacation THIS YEAR! 

Saturday was my 59th Birthday!  When did I get so OLD???  I don't feel 59!  Well kind of on those Chemo weeks but in my mind I am still 18.  I act like I am still 18 - EXCEPT  those chemo days!  I was COMPLETELY overwhelmed by the hundreds of birthday wishes from ALL over the world.  I am truly appreciative.

I had lunch yesterday with some of my girl friends.  My friend Martsy asked how I make it through each day.  My friend Ann's husband has had his share of health issues and it was an interesting discussion to say the least!  The bottom line is THIS.....

We ALL have our struggles.  Yes - I am going through struggles right now.  But at night when I go to bed I give THANKS for my BLESSINGS.  I give THANKS for being able to have made it through that day!  I have NEVER one time asked WHY ME?   I say WHY NOT?   This is something I can handle.  I HATE it!  Let me throw this in - When my kids were growing up that was a word NOT allowed in our home!  It is a nasty word but it is the only way I can express how I feel without swearing - which I have been know to do OCCASIONALLY!  I HATE cancer.  I HATE the treatment.  I HATE that I am doing this but I also want to LIVE!  I Know so many people who have it WORSE.  I have two nieces and three nephews who lost their dads early in their lives.  They have overcome the loss and have moved on to lead AMAZING lives and they DID IT and are DOING IT.  I have a niece who has never walked.  When she was four months old she was given a WRONG SHOT!!  She has lived almost 30 years in her wheelchair.  I am thankful I can walk.  I am thankful for her because she has shown ALL of us how to live with beauty and grace.  She is productive and leads a productive life!   What an AMAZING example! 

 I could go on and on.  It is just like LIFE!   There will always be those who are richer, smarter and better looking that YOU (or ME).  There will always be those who have it WORSE than any of us.  It is HOW WE HANDLE what we have been dealt with!  Cup half full - cup half empty?   We can blame and feel sorry for ourselves or we can take charge, KICK BUTT and lead our lives without blaming others.  It is a CHOICE that EACH AND EVERYONE of us makes on a daily basis.  We make a CHOICE as to how we will act, react and serve others.  I cannot tell you enough times - It is the SERVICE we do for others that will really really count when we finally meet our MAKER!

So wake up each day - serve one another-  Pray for who you can help.  Whether you believe in prayer or not - I can tell you that I KNOW without a doubt it HELPS!  Pray for inspiration as to who you can help and who you can serve.  I PROMISE!   You will feel like a MILLION BUCKS!

Thank you for ALL who have served and continue to serve me.  Please know that even in my weakened state, I pray daily for who I can serve and I do service every day of my life.  It makes it ALL worth it and makes me feel like I said - a MILLION BUCKS!  Please continue to pray for me and my family.  We NEED all the prayers that can be sent up!  Please know - I am NOT dying.  I am surviving and I am HAPPY and I am THANKFUL and Count my BLESSINGS each and every day!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:   With the death of Stephen Covey, who I have met on several occasions and have spent time in his home, I will use one of his quotes!  I LOVE IT 

"To Touch the Soul of Another Human Being is to Walk on Holy Ground".  

This is what I am talking about.  Serve and help one another.  Pray for those who need prayers.  Mourn with those who mourn.  Bear the burdens of one another!  Live your life without REGRETS!    Love and HUGS from ME to ALL OF YOU!!  THANK YOU!

The Second Round....

I MOWED the front lawn today!  Big deal you say?   Yes - it is a BIG DEAL!  I have waited PATIENTLY to have the ENERGY to be able to mow.  I tried last week and I was too weak!  Mowing is my therapy.   My MIND feels like a MILLION BUCKS!!  Ha!  My body feels pretty darn good too!!  I am THANKFUL.  I am GRATEFUL.  It is a BLESSING to have a lawn to mow!!  The front usually takes me a half hour.  Today I had to stop halfway for just a LITTLE rest and to be honest - my CALENDAR isn't  what one would consider FULL!!  I have all the time in the world!!  I am bound and determined to not let this CANCER thing KICK me!  I definitely KICKED BUTT today!!

I laid awake Saturday evening until well after midnight. I was overjoyed when my phone showed the change from June 30th to July 1st! I made it through June! The days were agonizingly LONG! I have never been one to wish the time away - always working hard and taking advantage of the beauty of each new day. Funny how perspective changes when you are merely trying to survive! Don't get me wrong. I roll out of my water bed each morning come H E L L or high-water.  And honestly - it is a ROLL!!  I get dressed and apply makeup. Some days just doing that requires a small rest back on the bed!   By the way.... I make the bed the minute I get up for the FIRST time... Lest anyone thinks me lazy! HA!

The second round of chemo was Monday June 25th.  After hearing the horror stories from my first treatment with the BAD medicine - the doctor decided not to use that particular medicine in the COCKTAIL!  I didn't even have to BEG!   You sit there for 2-3 hours while some of the STUFF infuses into the port.  Then they give you the trusty fanny pack with the pump to continue pumping the STUFF into your poor, broken down body until Wednesday.  I did OK.  It causes nausea and all the joints that I had trouble with the first time - ached like crazy.  Wednesday when they took it off the overwhelming feeling of fatigue and nausea hits.  I was pretty good by the weekend.  My right hand who happens to be one of my best friends, is still messed up from the first time.  I go again Monday the 9th.  I hope to be able to just continue like last time.  I don't want the BAD STUFF!!

It was a beautiful week this week.  The moon was beautiful.  The 4th of July is  my all time favorite HOLIDAY!   It is a great time when MOST of my family members, siblings, their children, etc. gather for the festivities.  A FRISCHKNECHT FAMILY tradition is staying overnight on the parade route on July 3rd.  This year was no different.  We have our FAVORITE spot and several of the nieces and nephews save the SPOT and the rest of us get there in the morning. Honestly - I don't care about the parade.  It is all the other stuff that continues the TRADITION!!  So THANKFUL!    Kerm and I were out there until about midnight and came home.  I cannot tell you how many times I have slept (there is NO sleep )out there.  I have made a promise that next year I will lead the sleepover!  After that we had about 60 people for the PICNIC at our house.  We are close and our house is the place for the July party!  So much fun, great food and such GREAT people.  I love them ALL!! 

My brother Kurt Frischknecht passed away June 22, 2002.  This was the ten year anniversary. I cannot believe how FAST the time has gone  and how much I miss him.  I can hear his voice in my head.  He had a FAVORITE name for me - ever since he was little.  Each time he would call I was greeted with that name!   His wife Cheryl remarried a couple of years later.  She was left with four small children and she married RIC MCCUTCHEON!  How I love that Man!  He is MY BROTHER and I love him to pieces!  He came to the marriage with his two sons - Chase and Chance who lived with him.  Together they created a blended family - the likes of which I have NEVER seen.  I pay tribute to both Cheryl and Ricky!  I love them so much and they come and continue the traditions!  I love that family!

To be honest I had a little let down after everyone left Thursday.  I had looked so forward to this week and now I just have to keep finding things to look forward to so the time passes quickly.  The last weekend in July is ALWAYS the FRISCHKNECHT FAMILY REUNION at FERRON RESERVOIR!  This is my dad's family.  He had five siblings - he still has two living brothers - their children and grandchildren and now great grandchildren.  That is next on my agenda and I look forward to that.  I WILL be camping with a motorhome - I decided a few years ago NO MORE tents for ME!  Now for SURE - NO MORE TENTS!  We will take the grandkids and enjoy time on the lake, four wheelers and FAMILY!  By the way - those of you who are not planning on going - CHANGE YOUR MINDS and get there!!!!!

My perspective regarding LIFE has changed.  When we were coming home Tuesday evening at midnight from the SPOT - we turned from University Avenue in Provo up to 800 North in Orem.  A truck had gone around the corner too fast and lost his load - a P IANO!  It was smashed to pieces!  We drove slowly past and my heart went out to those folks.  I wanted to turn around and talk to them - to let them know that the piano was just a THING!  Of course it would be devastating to lose your piano but in the scheme of things - it is just a THING!   It is the people and relationships that really matter.  I have learned so much for which I am eternally GRATEFUL!

THANK YOU for your prayers in my behalf of ME and my FAMILY.  We still need them!  We have had many challenges which we are slowly overcoming.  I believe in PRAYER and I KNOW they WORK!  I FEEL it!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:  
When you Doubt the Lovely Silence of a Quiet Wooded Place,
When you Doubt the Path of Silver of Some Moonlit Water Space,
When you Doubt the Winds a Blowing,
Flash of Lightening, Glistening Rain, Sun or Starlit Heavens Above You,
On the Land or Bounding Main.
When you Doubt the Sleep of Loved Ones Deep Beneath some Precious Sod,
Listen to a Soft Voice Saying - "BE STILL - and KNOW that I am GOD"

LOVE AND  HUGS TO ALL!!  THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT - I FEEL IT!!!!