CONTINUING WITH MY JOURNEY.....

The last week has been a PURE BLUR!   Thursday May 10th was an ALL liquid day - drinking nasty stuff getting ready for the surgery Friday morning - May 11th.  Ugh!  I am so done with broth and jello so I just drank all I could without having to have that stuff!  My daughter Kamie arrived from Dayton, Ohio at about 8:30 Thursday night and I was so THANKFUL and COMFORTED with her presence. Friday morning we left the house at 5 am to make it to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital by 6 am.  Kamie and Kerm were with me the whole time. We checked in and immediately a nurse came to take us back to start the IV, get the blood work, etc.  I HATE ALL THAT STUFF.  I HATE blood work.  I HATE IVs!  I HATE all of that.  Kamie had requested the OR nurse and the anesthesiologist who would be there to work with me.  They came in and calmed my fears.  I told them I do NOT like seeing the inside of the operating room.  I like to be OUT before I get there.  I don't remember anything else so they did a GREAT JOB!!

My biggest fear of that day was the length of the surgery.  It took a long time.  8 hours to be exact.  Evidently during surgery I reacted to the pain because they gave me more and more anesthesia.  It took about four hours in recovery and  longer to get me to the room.  Kerm and Kamie were there but I don't remembe much about that.  I get really sick with anesthesia and I do remember dry heaving.  UGH - until now - throwing up has been my WORST thing ever.  In fact - I am THANKFUL I raised four NON-BARFERS!!  I remember only one time Kerm was not at home when 2-year-old Kamie threw up.  He had to walk me through the clean up of that day time BARF over the phone! !  The other times he was at home and he took total care of those poor babies whose mother couldn't DEAL with it!  Gosh - I've learned a lot since then!

Saturday I was still trying to realize everything happening to me.  Obviously I was able to make a facebook post!  GOSH!  I was still so out of it as I was on SUNDAY too!  I was vaguely aware that my family was there but let's put it this way - there wasn't a WHOLE LOT of two way conversation going on!.  Kamie had to leave at about 8:30 Sunday morning to make it back to Ohio Sunday evening.  She and Mike are coming back for Memorial Day weekend.  That will be a much better conversation - I can PROMISE!.  Thank YOU Kamie.  Thank you for coming to support me and DAD!  He needed you there and I am so THANKFUL you were able to be there!

So let's get to the nitty gritty.  Monday evidently I did pretty well - STILL a BIG BLUR.  In fact - I did not put my contacts in until Tuesday and I had a MAGNIFICENT ROOM with a MAGNIFICENT VIEW!  Too bad they kicked me out so fast!.  Tuesday I was asked if I could walk four times around the whole floor by myself.  WELL - that was a NO BRAINER - to be honest - it was really really hard.  It was probably my worst day but I did all the stuff I needed to do in order for them to tell me I would probably go home Wednesday.  So much for the 7-10 days.  They kept telling me I was a ROCK STAR.  OK - that has NEVER been on my bucket list but gosh who wouldn't want to be called that??  I could have cared LESS!!!  My nurse told me that there was a girl in her 20's on the floor  who has colon cancer.  She would not get up - she would not do what they asked.  I want to go back and talk to her - Maybe Monday or so.  I will try to help her.  I can only imagine her acute depression.  They said she WOULD be there for the two weeks at least probably.  BLESS HER HEART!

I was called this morning by Dr. Sklow!  I LOVE that guy!  He is an amazing human begin and an excellent colorectal surgeon.  Both of his parents have succumbed to this awful disease!  I just kept telling him - if I were your mom - what would you do?  He would tell me honestly and in direct detail.  I did what he said and I am so THANKFUL.  He gave me the stark pathology reports!  I am so THANKFUL!

Dr. Sklow removed one foot of my colon.  I can't tell you how excited I was to hear that - NOT!!!  But this is the DEAL!!!   He removed 24 lymph nodes - ALL were CANCER-FREE!  There was a small tumor deposit in some fatty tissue which he said was not a big deal!  The tumor was that half-dime size and ALL the margins were completely CANCER-FREE!   I had honestly been waiting on pins and needles for those results!  I am GRATEFUL! 

The BAD, AWFUL, ICKY part??  I was left with a TEMPORARY ileostomy.  If you don't know what that is just google it - I can hardly even talk about it - let alone explain it.  BUT - Each day is one day closer to getting it reversed.  I am hoping for about four months.  He told me he wants me to have more chemotherapy.  It will be a little harder on me than the original chemo - but NO MORE radiation.  That should leave me cancer-free REALLY!.  So in about 4-5 months I should be BETTER. 

This is going to be a LONG SUMMER!.  I am in this  for the long haul.  I can do this.  I do NOT want to do this but remember I have said a million times - I CHOOSE TO LIVE!.  I have work to do.  I KNOW it - I FEEL it and it is inherent in my very SOUL!.  So a few months of AWFUl is a small price to pay.  I just need to get through day by day! 

I need to tell you this - my HUSBAND stayed with me the WHOLE time.  He pulled out that miserable little sofa and laid diagnonally and was there to attend to my every need.  I KNOW that is why I was able to do it.  I am so THANKFUL for him - to him - for EVERYTHING!.  He IS my EVERYTHING!  I am BLESSED! 

So THANK YOU to EVERYONE!  I am so THANKFUL!.  I have been BLESSED!  I still feel in a bit of a blur but - just so you don't think I am SLACKING - I did three loads of laundry today.  I worked REALLY REALLY hard for about four hours last night to NOT THROW UP!!!  I had only been taking ONE HALF of a LORTAB - but I am off of that.  It makes me so SICK!  I have had two ibuprofen today.  I was asked my a home health nurse my pain level on a scale of 1-10.  I said honestly I don't even think it has been a 2 since the whole ordeal began - so HUGE BLESSING!!! 

I STAND AS A WITNESS that GOD LIVES!  I STAND as a WITNESS that the POWER of PRAYER is GREATER than ANY power on EARTH!  I have been truly blessed.  Yes - I have some awful icky stuff to do but I will do it and I will help others and be of service the rest of my days!  THANK YOU!  My LOVE to EACH and EVERYONE of YOU!.  I am BLESSED.  I am HUMBLED and I am THANKFUL for all the SUPPORT.  PLEASE continue praying.  I need your prayers.  The worst thing that hurts is the stupid shot I have to have in my stomach every day - given by BUBBA!   It HURT today!! 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:  GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!!!  LOVE AND HUGS!!!

PUTTING LIFE INTO PERSPECTIVE....

On my bucket list of things to do BEFORE I DIE was to fly a kite again.  Honestly I cannot remember the last time I was actually able to fly a kite and sustain it for any length of time.  When our children were small we helped them fly kites.  We had Simone, Lukas and Stella stay overnight last week so we purchased a few different kites and had a great time flying them.  I love the feeling of hanging on to the kite and having it freely fly in the air! It was a GREAT adventure! I love feeling FREE!

Last week I was lucky enough to watch Little Miss Charlotte Mellor while her mama had her hair done.  It was truly a joy to have all FOUR grandchildren there at the same time.  Of course Charlotte slept the whole time but it won't be too long until she will be able to play with the rest of us!  When Kelsi came to pick her up Simone asked if she could just feed her and leave her again so we could play with her!  It was a great teaching moment educating the three of them as to what new babies REALLY do.  I had them repeat the three steps to Kelsi.  Babies simply - Eat, Sleep and POOP!!! 

I had a phone call from a friend on Saturday May 5th.  She had heard of my diagnosis and told me of her daughter who is 33 and has been in the hospital THREE WEEKS!  Because she is so young the physicians had a hard time actually diagnosing what her problems were.  The diagnosis came back last Wednesday as Stage III colon cancer!  Heather is 33-years-old - has four small children and has been diagnosed with colon cancer.  Kerm and I immediately went to the hospital to visit.  While she was growing up I had been Heather's Young Women's leader at one point in time.  It was wonderful to see her again and to spend a little time with her - sharing stories of OUR MUTUAL disease.  It certainly puts life into perspective.  I am 58 years-old.  Heather is 33-years-old - the ages of my own children.  It just goes to show that CANCER is a disease that affects people of all ages.  Every person on this earth has struggles and problems.  Please pray for Heather.  I received a text from her this morning - still at the hospital with complications and she was headed back to surgery.  Time spent there is now OVER three weeks.  Bless her HEART! 

Kerm and I were invited to a wedding at the Timpanogos Temple last Tuesday.  Beautiful Chelsey married her handsome husband Philip!  I was Chelsey's visiting teacher a few years ago.  I was thankful to be invited and it was truly a spiritual experience for me that day.  George Durrant was the sealer and he gave some wonderful advice.  Everyone has PROBLEMS.  All people have different experiences in life that helps with the growth that happens while we are on this earth.  He advised everyone in that room to pray for STRENGTH.   STRENGTH to overcome the trials and tribulations that will certainly come upon us.  That again puts life into perspective.  It is too late for me to pray NOT to have cancer.  I already have it.  My prayer is for STRENGTH to overcome that disease and go through the surgeries that will help me be CANCER-FREE!  Thank you for inviting me that day Chelsey - It was a BEAUTIFUL day!

I have had a great few weeks.  It has been a time of healing from chemo and radiation and trying to regain my strength before surgery. I have been able to accomplish the things I wanted to get done before surgery.  I did FLY A KITE!  We have been on our bicycle built for two every day. I have my garden ready to plant today.  My yard is in shape - with the exception of the flowers I plant yearly.  I will wait until I get out of the hospital so I don't have to depend on others to water them for me.  Kerm and I spent a weekend in Las Vegas at the Wynn Hotel and were privileged to see Garth Brooks.  What a great EXPERIENCE!  If you have a chance to see him - do it.  It is a GREAT SHOW!  We did not shop - we did not even get to the pool.  I slept a lot and we watched movies in the room.  It was great to be away and get the rest I needed without having to worry about things to be done at home!  I was actually EXHAUSTED!

My surgery is scheduled for FRIDAY MAY 11th.  I will be HONEST.  I am SCARED - scared of the unknown.  I have no clue what to expect and that is my fear.  I have GREAT FAITH however, and I know I will be fine.  I finished all the ironing today - joking with Kerm that if I don't come back - at least I got his shirts ironed!  I LOVE ironing and I know that is crazy!  I would ask you ALL to please pray for me.  Pray for me this week and especially Friday morning.  The surgery will take at least EIGHT hours!  Please pray for Dr. Sklow and the people who will be working with him.  I WANT TO LIVE!  I have so much more to accomplish on this EARTH and I am praying to be given that chance!  I want to be CANCER-FREE and I want to be able to HELP OTHERS!  That is my desire - to spend my days exhausted in the service to others.

I love my FAMILY!  I love my FRIENDS.  I am SO THANKFUL  for the many BLESSINGS that I have experienced during this time.  The last few months have been a time of great strife in our lives!  I have asked just a couple of times WHY?  The answer is WHY NOT?  I know there is a lot of growth in STRIFE - but GOSH - ENOUGH ALREADY!  The BLESSINGS have far outweighed any STRIFE and we are so THANKFUL!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: 

To awaken each morning with a Smile Brightening my Face;

To approach My work with a Clean Mind,

To hold ever before me the Ultimate Purpose toward which I am Working;

To meet men and women with Laughter on my lips and Love in my Heart;

To be Gentle, Kind and Courteous through all the Hours;

To approach the Night with weariness that ever woos Sleep and the joy that comes from work well done,

THIS is How I Desire to Waste Wisely My Days.....

LOVE AND HUGS TO EVERYONE!  I AM BLESSED!

GETTING BACK TO NORMAL?????

This has been a GREAT WEEK! I am so THANKFUL for returning energy and feeling A LOT like MY OLD SELF once again! I was THANKFUL to get out and mow the lawns and while doing so Bubba decided he would get a “BUTT “ shot! Doing yard work is EXTREMELY therapeutic for me and I am THANKFUL to be able to get out and WORK again! With the rain this week everything is getting so GREEN! The peach, plum and cherry trees are ALL in bloom. The apple trees are getting their leaves and I see HUNDREDS of blossoms. Between now and May 15th we keep our fingers crossed for warm nights with hopefully NO freezing! This is such a BEAUTIFUL time of year! I am so THANKFUL for SMALL things!

We had Simone, Lukas and Stella here a couple of times this last week and one night it was warm enough to do an outdoor dinner roasting hot dogs, etc. We love to play soccer, baseball and TAG on the trampoline. The tag game we play is with one person "IT". The two who are NOT "IT" hang on my shirt tails as I run around and around and around. They are basically flying around the outside circumference of the trampoline. The "IT" person CANNOT cut through the middle. They have to run to catch up with me. I am like a WORK HORSE - I run and run and run as fast as I can! Ha Ha - they have a hard time catching up with me but honestly - by the end I drop completely exhausted! I felt the pain in my calves the next day and not only that - it took a FEW days to recuperate!

I am feeling more energetic as each day comes a long. I am quite frankly surprised that it has taken my body four weeks to feel a little better. With surgery scheduled now in four weeks I am hoping to get stronger and stronger so I am at the TOP OF MY GAME by May 11th!! I still have a little burning pain so I called to the oncologist’s office Friday and was ONCE AGAIN reminded it can take up to two months to go away. This is the FIRST time in my life that I do not feel I have control over my body. We are taking bike rides every day and I am staying active and busy. I am getting to know my body ALL OVER AGAIN which is a really hard concept for me. I used to know what to and what not to eat, drink, etc. and felt very confident that I knew how my body would react. NOT SO any more. I think this is my biggest FRUSTRATION. With that being said however, I am THANKFUL to be ALIVE!

We are looking forward to heading to Las Vegas this weekend for a little rest and relaxation! I cannot wait to sit by the pool and bask in the warm sunshine. Saturday evening we will see Garth Brooks at the Wynn. I am excited to get away and feel kinda NORMAL again! I am truly looking forward to a little change of scenery!

I am THANKFUL for so many things – for so many people and for my return to a pretty good state of health. I am NOT looking forward to my surgery but I want to get it all taken care of so I can be cancer-free and back to doing what I do best! Taking care of OTHER people! Please continue to pray for me and my family. I feel the prayers and I need the prayers. As we get closer to the surgery date I will ask you to also pray for my surgeon – so that he will be able to take care of me and make the best decisions in my behalf.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “Amazing isn’t it how some people see the basket half empty and others see it half full. Some see life hopeless; others HOPEFUL! Even when things are less than perfect, if you can think of the GOOD, the BEAUTIFUL, the HOPEFUL, you’ll be more than sustained! You will CONQUER!”.

I know I will CONQUER the things I have to conquer! I am HOPEFUL! I am THANKFUL.

LOVE and HUGS to ALL!!

MY DAY AT THE HUNTSMAN CANCER INSTITUTE.........

I had an appointment today with Dr. Sklow, my surgeon at the Huntsman Cancer Institute.  I had a hard time sleeping - this has pretty much been a sleepless week after awaiting the birth of our Little Miss Charlotte Tuesday morning.  I was full of anxiety as we approached the Center and I was THANKFUL for my driver - BUBBA of course!   I actually like going there and I know that is slightly WEIRD!  Cancer patients drive up the circle drive - which is appropriately called the CIRCLE OF HOPE - and just step out.  One of several valets handles the car from there and once you are finished it takes only a couple of minutes for them to retrieve it.  I consider this a great service provided by HUNTSMAN CANCER INSTITUTE and it makes me smile each time we drive up!

This was my first follow up with Dr. Sklow since finishing the chemo and radiation and I was very HOPEFUL that everything would go well.  I promised I would be FRANKLY HONEST on this blog and so I continue with my honesty. This is one of the reason I decided to outline my story. 

Rectal sonograms are NOT fun.  It is certainly NOT something you would want to add to your list of THINGS TO DO!!!!! Today I was prepared for the sonogram but ended up not having to have one.  Instead I got the SCOPE!  I am four weeks post treatment and remember I had SEVERE burning from the radiation.  It has not completely healed internally so I felt a little pain - NOT BAD!  The first word I heard was OUTSTANDING!  At that minute my body just basically relaxed and I  heaved a HUGE sigh of RELIEF!  I am so THANKFUL.  The tumor is now merely a small ulcer - less than half the size of a dime and will continue to shrink for the next four weeks.  Meaning - it will basically be GONE!  We went back to the room where Kerm was waiting and discussed Dr. Sklow's plan for ME!

More HONESTY for which I am NOT thrilled.  I will have surgery Friday May 11th.  The surgery will take approximately EIGHT hours and upon hearing that it took me a minute to catch my breath!  I guess the GOOD THING is I won't know it!  My daughter Kamie will fly from Ohio.  She worked with Dr. Sklow when she worked in the OR at the U of U.  That means all my children will be here with Bubba and I am THANKFUL for that!  Dr. Sklow will resect the area where the cancer has been.  He will reconnect everything BUT - this is the part I am trying to wrap my mind around tonight - I will have a temporary ileostomy for SIX MONTHS!  Yes folks - that is a BAG.  Once I finish wrapping my brain around this I will be FINE - just give me overnight AND it will old news!  I would rather have a BAG for life if it means I can LIVE.  This is just for six months and I can handle it!  I CHOOSE to LIVE! 

I will do what the doctor suggests.  I have complete trust in him and he is the specialist.  I decided early on I would tell it like it is rather than hiding anything.  I feel that people need to know what I will go through and what other cancer patients have to endure.  It is not always pretty by any means but it is real and it is TRUE!  These are REAL STATISTICS put out by the Huntsman Cancer Institute.  One out of every three women and one out of every two men will have cancer.  This disease will affect all families at one time or another. 

On the original rectal sonogram there was no cancer detected in any lymph nodes.  All the nodes will be taken out during surgery.  Depending on IF they find  cancer in any nodes will depend on whether I need more chemo and HOW MUCH!  At least I will NOT have more radiation! 

GOSH!!!!!!

I will be in the hospital in Salt Lake at least ONE WEEK!!!  I am sure when I finish - just like chemo and radiation - It will be a BIG BLUR!   There is ONLY ONE GOOD THING I CAN THINK OF - I will lose lots of weight!!   HA HA  -  LIKE I CARE!!   ALSO - at the Huntsman you can order food all night long supposedly!  I certainly hope that at the END of that week I will feel like ordering it.  They told me today that even if I wanted a smoothie at 3 in the morning they would bring it to me.  Well I hope that at 3 in the morning each day I will be ASLEEP!!!

Today has been a GREAT DAY!  I am THANKFUL for SHRINKAGE.  I am THANKFUL for modern medicine.  I am THANKFUL for my husband and my children and my grandchildren!  I am THANKFUL for all of YOU - my family and friends who have prayed and CONTINUE to pray for me.  It is extremely HUMBLING! 

This is also a day of STARK REALIZATION!  Cancer is NOT something I planned in my life - no one does!   I am NOT HAPPY with my plan but I know it is necessary for my CURE!  I WILL BE a survivor.  I will continue to FIGHT.  I have a great ATTITUDE!  I feel that ATTITUDE is half of the DANG BATTLE!  I have remained active.  I have continued with the cleaning and laundry and everything I have ALWAYS done!  I am ready to start taking bike rides again.  I just started a new business.  I feel it is of utmost importance to not give in to this NASTY disease!  I will FIGHT HARD!

Tonight I am once again EXHAUSTED!  I am THANKFUL and I am HUMBLED!  We went to dinner at Riverwoods - to SHOOTS - after what I went through today I felt I not only EARNED it - I DESERVED it!!  I have a STACK of thank you cards which have been sitting on my counter for WEEKS.  I am so overwhelmed I do not know where to begin.  Please know I am THANKFUL.  I am BLESSED to have people all over the world praying for ME!  My FRIENDS!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:  "The True Gospel of Jesus Christ never led to Bigotry.  It never led to Self-Righteousness.  It never led to Arrogance.  The True Gospel of Jesus Christ leads to Brotherhood, to Friendship, to Appreciation of others, to Respect and Kindness and Love".  Gordon B. Hinckley

Thank you to ALL my FRIENDS!   Love and Hugs!

WELCOME LITTLE DIAMOND PRINCESS - LITTLE MISS CHARLOTTE MELLOR!

We were very humbled this morning, April 3rd at 5:47 am with the birth of our DIAMOND PRINCESS - LITTLE MISS CHARLOTTE MELLOR!  She was due on March 24th but she definitely has a mind of her OWN!  She came when she was ready!  With an April Birthday her birthstone is the DIAMOND - Hence the DIAMOND PRINCESS!  Kelsi started labor Sunday evening at around midnight.  It was a very LONG and HARD 30 hour labor!  I am THANKFUL Kelsi endured well and was able to deliver Charlotte this morning.  With John at her side they welcomed this little precious bundle from HEAVEN!  Kerm and I went to St. Mark's Hospital in Salt Lake City this afternoon and held that precious girl in our arms.  She is PERFECT.  She is BEAUTIFUL - just like her mama with a perfect little nose and beautiful lips!  Kelsi is exhausted.  We are THANKFUL!

Kelsi is MY BABY - the last of four children.  She showed great strength and determination and I am so proud of her!  She is a real TROOPER!  These pictures are from her modeling years.  Kelsi graced the cover of many a magazine and traveled the world with her modeling career.  She had a fashion career - Earned her Private Pilot License which scared the HECK out of me - and became a Medical Assistant.  She is now happy being a wife and NEW MAMA and taking care of the horses, chickens and SUCH on the FARM!  I am so proud of you KELSI!  I love you to pieces! 

Sunday evening Simone, Lukas and Stella came with some cute Easter Cupcakes they helped their mama make. The cupcakes were delicious.  Oh my goodness - the JOY to see these babies at my door.  I love them to the MOON and BACK!  They are excited to meet their new cousin! 

I will see my surgeon Thursday.  My burns are basically healed.  I still feel a tiny bit of burning pain but I know this will go away soon.  I will find out the status of my cancer Thursday because I will be prepared to do the sonogram to see how the tumor responded to the chemo and radiation.  I had blood work done last Monday.  Everyone has what is called CARCINOEMBRYONIC ANTIGEN in their blood.  Whether you have cancer or not - the antigen is there.  Normal is 0-5.  When I was first tested in December my CEA was 3.57, which was well within the normal range.  Last Monday the test came back at 1.27 which had dropped significantly.  This gives me hope that the tumor HAS responded to the treatment.  If I had so much damage caused on the outside, I can only imagine what happened on the inside where the radiation was directed.  I am HOPEFUL.  I am praying hard that it will either be gone or just a SPECK!  As least I have FAITH!  

Depending on what the surgeon finds Thursday, surgery will be scheduled for the week of April 23rd - whatever his surgery day is.  I have been given scenarios of what COULD happen, most of which I do NOT like!  I will follow their suggestions however, as I CHOOSE to LIVE!  I still look in the mirror and have to tell myself I am a CANCER PATIENT!  It used to sound YUCKY!  Now it is just matter-of-fact.  I am a CANCER PATIENT!  I WILL be cured!  I look forward to getting ER done!

I am so excited for the Springtime temperatures we are experiencing in Utah!  Saturday I was able to spread the fertilizer on front and back lawns - which nearly did me IN!  I was huffing and puffing and actually laughed at myself because my energy levels are NOT back to normal.  I had to rest FOUR times!  I can usually mow both lawns in an hour and a half with only stopping to go from front to back!   I feel that most of me is back to normal - just not quite my energy!   

I cannot begin to express my THANKFULNESS today.  We have a beautiful, healthy baby who is truly a Gift from God!  My family has truly been BLESSED the last few months.  It has been a trying time, a hard time and a time I am happy to forget but we have been showered with BLESSINGS!  I am GRATEFUL!

Please continue to pray for me and my family.  I have felt your prayers - I believe in PRAYER and I am truly humbled. 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:  TRIBUTE TO KELSI AND CHARLOTTE

"Little Golden Girl of Mine ,

Rosy Cheeks and Eyes that Shine;

Golden Sunlight on Your Hair,

Elfin Grace Beyond Compare.

Lilting Laughter on Your Lips,

Magic in your Finger Tips;

A Pixie Creature half Divine, 

I'm so Glad God Made you MINE! 

HAPPY SPRING...

HAPPY SPRING!  I have ALWAYS loved the first day of Spring!  It is a day of HOPE and usually ushers in the warmer weather which we have hoped for all winter.  This has been quite a warm weather year so we were THANKFUL yesterday for new snow to help our water year here in Utah!  At Sundance we shoveled 37 inches yesterday at the cabin!  Not me of course - but I went along for the RIDE! The LOVELY thing about Spring Storms is that the snow melts ALMOST as fast as it falls and we have the additional water!

34 years ago TODAY - on the first day of SPRING - I gave birth to my second child and first daughter - Kamie!  If you know my boys - and know their sizes - you will understand my fear of having a daughter.  I was afraid any daughters I bore would end up looking like  Defensive Linemen!  NOT SO!  My two daughters are STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL and in no way, shape or form resemble their football-playing brothers - other than their AMAZING BLUE EYES!

My daughter Kamie is like a BREATH OF FRESH AIR!  She says what she thinks  and is NEVER afraid of what others may think.  I love this about her!  She is a beautiful, confident WOMAN!  Her BLUE EYES are STRIKING!   Once while in the operating room she ran into a Medical Salesman - A Family Friend -  who was there to peddle his medical wares!  Before she spoke, and even with her hat and mask on,  he IMMEDIATELY picked her out as a JACKSON - simply because of those beautiful brilliant BLUE EYES!  

We raised four VERY independent children and Kamie may indeed be the most Independent!  She is a STRONG WOMAN - much stronger than I - and has excelled in EVERYTHING she has ever done.  She played high school volleyball - her almost 6 ft height aided in that endeavor.  After four shoulder surgeries she moved on to other aspirations.  When Kamie wanted to go live on the beach in San Diego, we bought her an older Volkswagon Van - Kerm fixed a bed in the back and I fashioned the GORGEOUS curtains that would give her privacy.  We have tried to support our children in their WHIMS and aspirations!  Kamie earned her DiveMaster and worked on a Dive Boat for a summer.  She then returned to the University of Utah where she earned a Bachelor's Degree in Nursing - graduating in Kamie Style - with HONORS! 

Kamie is a GREAT nurse!   After her husband Mike earned his PhD at the University of Utah they moved to Boston for 18 months.  Kamie had no problem finding a nursing job and honestly, once people meet her they feel like she has been a friend forever!  In August they moved to Dayton, Ohio where they bought a house and consider this PERMANENT - which makes me a little sad becaue it feels far away!  I am THANKFUL for iPhones and Texting!  Kamie took her time to seek a nursing job - was hired at her first interview and within a month was promoted to MANAGER of the Operating Room!   Yes - this is my Beautiful Daughter Kamie!  I love her to PIECES and I am Eternally Grateful for her!  Happy Happy Birthday Beautiful Lady!  I LOVE YOU!  NOW - with that being said - we are HOPING and WAITING patiently for GRANDCHILDREN!!  I am wondering if you could follow your sister Kelsi and get with the PROGRAM?   Can you imagine how beautiful Kamie's babies will be?   I CANNOT WAIT!!  Kamie is going to try to get here in April when I have surgery at the Huntsman Cancer Center.  She worked with Dr. Sklow who will be my surgeon!  To have her here will help to alleviate my fears!

This is our front yard on the First Day of Spring - with the Tulips poking up through the snow!   By Saturday it is supposed to be 70 degrees! 

We are still awaiting the birth of CHARLOTTE - Kelsi's baby who is due the 24th!  Kelsi's husband John is a Vice President at ADOBE.  ADOBE has SUMMIT every year which happens to be this week!  This is the BUSIEST week of the YEAR for John  so Kelsi is hoping CHARLOTTE will not come early!  I am secretly hoping she WILL!  I CANNOT WAIT!!

It has taken me this long to feel stronger.  I improve a little each day.  I STILL have radiation burns - but they are healing - for which I am THANKFUL.  I COUNT MY BLESSINGS every day and I am so HAPPY to be on this side of treatment - it was BRUTAL!  As I look back now after I have finished - the days blurred into one another.  I have NO IDEA how I walked into that radiation treatment every day!  I am THANKFUL for Kerm holding my hand each and every day - gently guiding me along although I would have liked to BOLT!  In the beginning I could have run away!  By the end of six weeks I could barely walk!

On April 5th I see the surgeon and will schedule surgery!  I want to get it over with so I can move towards being CANCER FREE - which I know will happen.  I am THANKFUL for the friends who have supported me and have encouraged me each and every day.  I am THANKFUL for my HUSBAND, CHILDREN and GRANDCHILDREN who have supported me and ENCOURAGED me!  THANK YOU for your prayers!  PLEASE continue to pray for me and my family.  Please pray for my friends Marjorie and Sue who are battling this DREADFUL DISEASE! 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:  "My Son - PEACE be unto thy SOUL;  Thine Adversity and Thine Afflictions shall be but a SMALL Moment; And then, if Thou ENDURE IT WELL, GOD shall Exalt Thee on High    D&C 121: 7-8 

Love and Hugs to ALL!

OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING!!!

Oh what a BEAUTIFUL Morning in UTAH County!  The birds are singing and it is such a JOY to behold!  Each morning when I awaken - AND I have done this during my entire treatment time (except ONE day) - I LOVE to sit on the floor in my computer room, pull open the blinds and apply my makeup by natural light!  This is the site from my window today!  Beautiful Mt. Timpanogos - with all the BEAUTY and GRANDEUR she offers each and every day!  I LOVE IT!!  As I looked out to the left at the door on my front porch leading in the garage, there were two TINY birds making a nest in the wreath on the door.  Surely a sign that SPRING is almost here!  I was able to attend Church today for the first hour and it was such a JOY to be there and to be uplifted!  What a GREAT feeling and one I have truly missed!  My body is WEAK but my mind is HAPPY and GOOD and STRONG!

Thursday morning, the first day post six weeks of NASTY treatment, I awakened, applied my makeup and got dressed thinking I was back to NORMAL!  HAHAHAHAHA!  The joke was on me.  All that effort put me back on the bed for a half hour!  At least I was dressed and made up!  The first thing I do every morning after putting in my contacts is put on my LIPSTICK!   I LOVE my lipstick!  I feel that if nothing else, lipstick makes a girl look just a little better - at least THIS girl!  I do it every single day - makeup or not!  I actually have a YEARS SUPPLY of my lipstick!  I use two shades - first the darker followed by the lighter shade, apply a little powder and you are GOOD to go!  I love my LIPSTICK.  Friday evening my niece Mary Lynn, the oldest of my sister's 15 children arrived at the door with two of her daughters.  Abby and AnnaLee.  One of the first things Abby said was - "OH - you have lipstick on".  Ha Ha!  If she ONLY knew!  They came with a big loaf of homemade bread!  Mary Lynn is one of my many HEROES and I appreciate her for that.  She has always treated everyone around her with a Christ-like LOVE - NOT judging - simply LOVING and that is one of her many GREAT qualities!  THANK YOU Mary Lynn!

Yesterday when I awoke it was as if I had REAWAKENED!  I FELT my NAUGHTINESS/SPUNK return!  That in and of itself means I am getting BETTER!  I am not really naughty but I AM SPUNKY and it feels so good!  This truly helps me through this JOURNEY!

Last night Kerm and I visited with my friend MARJORIE!  Marjorie is in her LAST DAYS on this Earth!  It is hard to express the true LOVE that I feel for this beautiful woman!  She taught and CONTINUES to teach me - even laying there on the sofa - knowing full well that her days are numbered.  What an AMAZING LADY!  Marjorie will soon graduate from the Earth Life with HONOR!  She has served and CONTINUES to serve.  She has promised me that she will be there to greet me when my time here has expired.  Life is an interesting JOURNEY.  We are BORN to DIE!  I am truly THANKFUL for the knowledge that I have - that FAMILIES CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER after we leave this Earth Life.  Please pray for my TWO friends - Marjorie and Sue - They are DEAR ladies who are experiencing terrible trials.  I love them dearly!

 As I laid on the radiation table for six weeks in a thick concrete-walled room - five days a week - all by myself - it was SCARY to me.   After prepping you for the radiation, they ALL leave because they don't want what you are about to GET - and the door shuts!  I am claustrophobic - BUBBA is with me - but he cannot be in this room!  I want to TESTIFY to all of you - regardless of what your beliefs are -  that GOD is REAL!  That HE is there!  It is during this time that I have fully experienced the outpouring of HIS LOVE for ME!  The communication that flowed freely - HE was ALL I had!  HE was the ONLY person I had to communicate with - to HELP me through this!   I KNOW this!  I TESTIFY that HE is there!  I am THANKFUL that HIS SON - even JESUS CHRIST is my REEDEMER!  HE died - so that ALL of us can once again LIVE and be reunited with that GOD who made us!  I KNOW this with ALL my HEART, MIND and SOUL!   The BEAUTY of this EARTH is such an example of the LOVE that GOD has for all of US!   Please continue to pray for me and my FAMILY!  I am HAPPY - I am GRATEFUL and I WILL return to being BETTER than I was before! 

I now excitedly await the birth of CHARLOTTE MELLOR - John and Kelsi's first daughter!  What a JOY it will be to see that beautiful daughter they are longing to hold!  I continue to fight for SIMONE - LUKAS and STELLA - the GRANDCHILDREN I LOVE and ADORE with ALL MY HEART!  These babies are my part of MY EVERYTHING!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:   EVERY person in this WORLD - is a DREAM of GOD!  The REAL MEASURE of a man's WEALTH - is what he has invested in ETERNITY! 

 I believe this with ALL my HEART!  LOVE AND HUGS TO ALL!