MY DAY AT THE HUNTSMAN CANCER INSTITUTE.........

I had an appointment today with Dr. Sklow, my surgeon at the Huntsman Cancer Institute.  I had a hard time sleeping - this has pretty much been a sleepless week after awaiting the birth of our Little Miss Charlotte Tuesday morning.  I was full of anxiety as we approached the Center and I was THANKFUL for my driver - BUBBA of course!   I actually like going there and I know that is slightly WEIRD!  Cancer patients drive up the circle drive - which is appropriately called the CIRCLE OF HOPE - and just step out.  One of several valets handles the car from there and once you are finished it takes only a couple of minutes for them to retrieve it.  I consider this a great service provided by HUNTSMAN CANCER INSTITUTE and it makes me smile each time we drive up!

This was my first follow up with Dr. Sklow since finishing the chemo and radiation and I was very HOPEFUL that everything would go well.  I promised I would be FRANKLY HONEST on this blog and so I continue with my honesty. This is one of the reason I decided to outline my story. 

Rectal sonograms are NOT fun.  It is certainly NOT something you would want to add to your list of THINGS TO DO!!!!! Today I was prepared for the sonogram but ended up not having to have one.  Instead I got the SCOPE!  I am four weeks post treatment and remember I had SEVERE burning from the radiation.  It has not completely healed internally so I felt a little pain - NOT BAD!  The first word I heard was OUTSTANDING!  At that minute my body just basically relaxed and I  heaved a HUGE sigh of RELIEF!  I am so THANKFUL.  The tumor is now merely a small ulcer - less than half the size of a dime and will continue to shrink for the next four weeks.  Meaning - it will basically be GONE!  We went back to the room where Kerm was waiting and discussed Dr. Sklow's plan for ME!

More HONESTY for which I am NOT thrilled.  I will have surgery Friday May 11th.  The surgery will take approximately EIGHT hours and upon hearing that it took me a minute to catch my breath!  I guess the GOOD THING is I won't know it!  My daughter Kamie will fly from Ohio.  She worked with Dr. Sklow when she worked in the OR at the U of U.  That means all my children will be here with Bubba and I am THANKFUL for that!  Dr. Sklow will resect the area where the cancer has been.  He will reconnect everything BUT - this is the part I am trying to wrap my mind around tonight - I will have a temporary ileostomy for SIX MONTHS!  Yes folks - that is a BAG.  Once I finish wrapping my brain around this I will be FINE - just give me overnight AND it will old news!  I would rather have a BAG for life if it means I can LIVE.  This is just for six months and I can handle it!  I CHOOSE to LIVE! 

I will do what the doctor suggests.  I have complete trust in him and he is the specialist.  I decided early on I would tell it like it is rather than hiding anything.  I feel that people need to know what I will go through and what other cancer patients have to endure.  It is not always pretty by any means but it is real and it is TRUE!  These are REAL STATISTICS put out by the Huntsman Cancer Institute.  One out of every three women and one out of every two men will have cancer.  This disease will affect all families at one time or another. 

On the original rectal sonogram there was no cancer detected in any lymph nodes.  All the nodes will be taken out during surgery.  Depending on IF they find  cancer in any nodes will depend on whether I need more chemo and HOW MUCH!  At least I will NOT have more radiation! 

GOSH!!!!!!

I will be in the hospital in Salt Lake at least ONE WEEK!!!  I am sure when I finish - just like chemo and radiation - It will be a BIG BLUR!   There is ONLY ONE GOOD THING I CAN THINK OF - I will lose lots of weight!!   HA HA  -  LIKE I CARE!!   ALSO - at the Huntsman you can order food all night long supposedly!  I certainly hope that at the END of that week I will feel like ordering it.  They told me today that even if I wanted a smoothie at 3 in the morning they would bring it to me.  Well I hope that at 3 in the morning each day I will be ASLEEP!!!

Today has been a GREAT DAY!  I am THANKFUL for SHRINKAGE.  I am THANKFUL for modern medicine.  I am THANKFUL for my husband and my children and my grandchildren!  I am THANKFUL for all of YOU - my family and friends who have prayed and CONTINUE to pray for me.  It is extremely HUMBLING! 

This is also a day of STARK REALIZATION!  Cancer is NOT something I planned in my life - no one does!   I am NOT HAPPY with my plan but I know it is necessary for my CURE!  I WILL BE a survivor.  I will continue to FIGHT.  I have a great ATTITUDE!  I feel that ATTITUDE is half of the DANG BATTLE!  I have remained active.  I have continued with the cleaning and laundry and everything I have ALWAYS done!  I am ready to start taking bike rides again.  I just started a new business.  I feel it is of utmost importance to not give in to this NASTY disease!  I will FIGHT HARD!

Tonight I am once again EXHAUSTED!  I am THANKFUL and I am HUMBLED!  We went to dinner at Riverwoods - to SHOOTS - after what I went through today I felt I not only EARNED it - I DESERVED it!!  I have a STACK of thank you cards which have been sitting on my counter for WEEKS.  I am so overwhelmed I do not know where to begin.  Please know I am THANKFUL.  I am BLESSED to have people all over the world praying for ME!  My FRIENDS!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:  "The True Gospel of Jesus Christ never led to Bigotry.  It never led to Self-Righteousness.  It never led to Arrogance.  The True Gospel of Jesus Christ leads to Brotherhood, to Friendship, to Appreciation of others, to Respect and Kindness and Love".  Gordon B. Hinckley

Thank you to ALL my FRIENDS!   Love and Hugs!