SHORT LIVED PEACE....

I am sick....AGAIN! This is what I will tell you. I can handle this. I would rather, once again, have it be me who is sick, than wish this upon anyone else!! I would NOT wish this upon my worst enemy. I actually don't think I have any enemies but if I did, I still wouldn't wish it for anyone!!

I felt as though I was doing so well. October was a HEALING month!! I came into November really feeling on top of the world !

We traveled to Las Vegas two times in the last month to visit and watch my two nephews play football. Their team is in the playoffs and I love every minute of watching them! I want to tell you a little about them. Blake Frischknecht is the oldest son of my brother Kurt who passed away in 2002 in a car accident. Blake had just turned 7. He is a kicker. This is his first year playing football as a senior kicker. He has played soccer since his daddy started him in the sport at age 3-4. He is coming to BYU to play soccer BUT I think BYU could use a KICKER for their football team!  When he kicks the ball off his kicks fly through the other team's goal posts!  His field goals are easily 50 yards!   His papa would be SO PROUD!  Chance McCutcheon is also a senior. He is the son of Ricky who my sister-in-law married a few years after Kurt's death. I love Ric like a brother and that is how I regard him. As my brother! Chance is a linebacker who plays his heart out!! I love these two boys and I am proud of them..  Anyway. These boys are brothers and this is the very amazing thing about them. They were both born the same day!!! May 10, 1995!! Brothers from a different mother!!! I love it! I love them!!

Last Friday I started feeling a little pain at the top of my outer thighs right below my hips. I felt as if they were both bruised. Saturday the pain was worse but I still felt as though I had somehow bruised my legs. By Sunday evening I had these "lumps" all over my upper thighs. Kerm circled 26 of them. The nodules are about an inch in diameter, hot and very painful. Except the ones I first felt. They are each about three inches in diameter, hot and painful. It hurts to move! By Monday the number of nodes had doubled. I saw Dr Bott my oncologist. He suggested a biopsy. By Wednesday I had over 100 and today they have spread down both legs, onto my ankles and now on my arms.  These are painful nodules which are red and hot!

I saw the dermatologist yesterday who took a nodule out of my arm with about a two inch incision. The biopsy results will be back Monday or Tuesday. If you have taken me off your prayer list I BEG you to add my name again. GOSH! I am a sick girl. I pray for the lessor or the three evils which are
1) Lymphoma which is another form of cancer
2) A disease called Sarcoidosis which I had 29 years ago and hopefully is the more likely cause or
 3) What they call Valley Fever.

When my youngest child Kelsi turned one I became very ill.  I had these same horribly painful lumps in my legs and finally had to use crutches. Kerm would carry me to and from the car. It was a rough time because I had four children - the oldest was 6!!'. It was really really hard.  A physician suggested an x-ray of my lungs and after a lung biopsy the disease Sarcoidosis was diagnosed. I was put on hugely high doses of steroids and eventually regained my health. As I left the hospital the physician told me to expect to gain great amounts of weight!   I did gain 10 pounds but lost it after finishing the medications.  This disease never goes away but usually it doesn't resurface unless the immune system is compromised. Well - mine has been very comprosed over the past year.  I am however, praying I have that PARTICULAR disease.  I have dealt with it before.  Originally 29 years ago they thought I had lymphoma until the biopsy came back Sarcoidosis. You can google the disease and read all about it. At that time it was in my lungs and they are permanently scarred but the scarring has never hindered me.  It can affect your heart and be fatal. It can affect your brain, cause blindness and I just don't even want to go into more details.   It is rare for a Caucasian person to perish from this disease.  The comedian Bernie Mac died a year ago from Sarcoidosis.  I have a great deal of FAITH.  I have been given blessings and one must NEVER ever underestimate my FAITH!!

I decided today that next November we need to go away for the whole month! My trials have been coming in Novembers and I don't like that!

What I will tell you also is this... I am THANKFUL!! I am thankful for trials because I will attest they make a person stronger. I guess the Colon cancer wasn't enough! I obviously need to learn more. I am a fast learner so just let me get it over with!!! Needless to say my colonoscopy was cancelled today. I still have that to look forward to!!!

PLEASE pray for me. I will find out my fate Monday or Tuesday and move forward in FAITH overcoming this new trial!! I CAN do it. I can handle the pain. The nodules are spread all over my ankles this morning but I can still walk and do the things i need to do!! I can handle anything as long as I know what I am dealing with!! A dear friend suggested this is just another BUMP in the road for me.  I have great HOPE!!

So here I go again with this new stepping stone. I will hurdle this one and be good as new. I still look the same and no one will ever quelch my SPIRIT. I am filled with GRATITUDE!!

Thought For The Day: I have nothing more to say other than I can't wait to see my grand babies. Hopefully we get a sleepover this weekend. Hug your loved ones and be GRATEFUL.  ANGELS truly attend all of us - On BOTH sides of the veil and I TESTIFY that this is TRUTH.  I FEEL their presence!!

 GOD bless us EVERYONE!!! Love and Hugs!!!