I am VERY VERY GRATEFUL! I am back to 100% of normal and so far this year has been AMAZING! I am THANKFUL for family, friends and GOOD HEALTH! 2012 was a LONG, HARD Year! As I look back - and I don't like to do that very often, I wonder how I got through each day! I think of what I went through and honestly cannot believe that it was ME that underwent those treatments for that AWFUL disease!
As I was on the table getting radiated for six weeks, I would think of things and places that make me HAPPY! I would NOT allow myself to ever feel sorry for myself. Studies show that feeling sorry is NOT a healthy way of living. I made the decision early on to be happy every day and indeed - it IS a DAILY CHOICE!. It is up to all of us to make that choice. Many days during that six weeks I would lay there and count my BLESSINGS. I would say out loud all the things that I was THANKFUL for. The sessions were about a half hour and I NEVER once ran out of things to say!! I am going to do that again today - because I have NOT done that out loud since my radiation days! Indeed - we ALL have so much to be THANKFUL for and I REFUSE to dwell on ANYTHING NEGATIVE - it is NOT healthy!
I am healthy at this time and I want to stay that way!
I ran into a DEAR FRIEND Saturday evening who I actually worked for years ago. He hired my company to do his medical transcription and I loved every minute of working with him. He is a GREAT physician and told me he is suffering from pancreatic cancer. We shed tears there Saturday evening in the vegetable aisle at Harmons on 8th North in Orem. He is such a great man! He told me he is preparing to GO HOME which was so hard to hear! We talked for a half hour there by the vegetables and spoke of tender things. I will support him as long as he is on this earth!
In Relief Society yesterday Linda Christensen gave an AMAZING lesson on REGRETS vs RESOLUTIONS. When I was diagnosed with cancer and realized that I was faced with a potentially terminal disease, I made the decision to make sure I resolved any regrets! There are some regrets I will never get back but I realize it is also not healthy to worry about that. Yesterday is gone and I choose to live for TODAY! I choose to be healthy and happy and live my life with no regrets. I rarely speak with my children or grandchildren without expressing my LOVE for them. My husband NEVER leaves the house without both of us professing our love for one another. That is one regret I will never have because I tell him of my love several times a day. I had two major regrets in my life that I worked on resolving in the fall of 2012. It is so healing and extremely cleansing to LET GO of any regrets we may carry around. Regrets are like a suitcase full of rocks. AWFUL baggage that people tend to carry around. Imagine having to carry that around all day long - all week long. If you have ANY regrets - let go of them. It is so incredibly refreshing and you will truly feel so much better. Regrets are NOT healthy!
Resolutions on the other hand are full of HOPE. I have such great HOPE and I resolve each day to make the most of what comes my way! I am so incredibly THANKFUL to have more days on this earth - days to make my resolutions HAPPEN. I express my GRATITUDE each and every day and it feels TERRIFIC!
When my oldest son left for two years to serve an LDS Mission to England - a dear friend gave me a GRATITUDE brick. I LOVE that brick and make sure each day as I see it that I ALWAYS express my gratitude. I was grateful he made the decision to go. He played college football and made a decision early in his life that he was not going to serve a mission - rather he decided to work hard to make it to the NFL He played his first two years at the University of Hawaii. After two years he decided to transfer and spent a season at Dixie Jr. College. He was then recruited to Cal Berkeley. His desire was to play in the NFL. At age 22 - at the start of his Jr. season as starting noseguard in the Pac-10 at that time, he called me one day a week before the beginning of the season and told me he felt the NEED to serve a mission. I thought it was a joke! At the age of 19 when most young men leave to serve he had made the decision NOT to go! As parents we didn't force the issue because with that particular child - it would have been FUTILE! We were grateful he decided to serve. He will tell you that leaving Berkeley was the hardest thing he has done - but serving a two year mission was the MOST REWARDING thing he has ever done. GRATITUDE.
Kerm and I took off our yellow LIVESTRONG bracelets a couple of weeks ago. We had continued wearing them in support of our friends . Each time I looked at it - I was reminded of what I had been through. Rather than dwelling on that each and every day - we chose to take them off - to get RID of any AWFUL memories. It was so REFRESHING and SUCH a cleansing feeling. Yay - At this time I am 100% cancer-free. I am healthy, I have lost a lot of weight and for the first time in my life - I can eat ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I want. That is seriously about the ONLY Perk of having colon cancer. I am healthy and I am strong and I have huge plans and desires to fulfill in helping others.
I have started a new little business that is growing like WILDFIRE. I am THANKFUL - I am EXCITED and have HOPE - a WONDERFUL thing!
A BIG THANK YOU to everyone who has helped me in any way - who has offered prayers in my behalf, dropped off treats, notes or letters in the mail. I express my GRATITUDE! I will have scans again in March and have every reason to believe that all is well. Those will happen every few months for a few years and eventually they will decrease in frequency. I look forward to that day with HOPE! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: I have done this thought before but it is so appropriate at the beginning of this GREAT new year!
"HOPE..... That Bubbling Ingredient in Life Which is Like Carbonation in a Drink; Giving it Zest, Keeping it in Motion, Always pushing it up.....
FILLED WITH GRATITUDE!! Love and Hugs to ALL!! God Bless us EVERYONE!!
