PAYING TRIBUTE.....

This is the Memorial Day Week!  I have been overcome with emotion as I thought of ALL the people I need to pay tribute to!  I am so THANKFUL to live in this country - where we enjoy many freedoms!  I am THANKFUL to those who have fought and continue to fight in this never ending quest for freedom!  My dad, Neil C. Frischknecht fought in World War II as did  many of my uncles.  My dad was an officer in the Navy serving on the USS Chester.  I am THANKFUL for the COURAGE the men and women display each and every day as they serve this GREAT country.  My belief is that our country is in great danger of losing some of those freedoms! We ALL need to work hard to select good leaders - leaders who will take us on the pathways we need to be on to ensure those freedoms we DESERVE!   GOD BLESS AMERICA!  GOD BLESS US ALL!!

I was released from the Huntsman Cancer Hospital on Wednesday May 16th.  I came home and immediately started doing the things I am normally accustomed to doing.  It was plain and simply TOO MUCH!  We went to dinner Saturday the 19th and I flippantly stated that "it's hard to keep a good girl down".  It IS hard to keep a good girl down BUT....  A good girl should KNOW when too much is too much!!  Probably the hardest thing EVER is having to rest a lot and watch others MOW MY LAWNS!!  It is such a great therapeutic release for me to work in the yard and for years and years, other than spraying the fruit trees, fixing sprinklers and some help with weeding - I have done the yard work!  I have not yet planted my flowers but it is still wonderful sitting in the beautiful yard!  I LOVE IT!

I am doing a lot better.  Each day there is improvement.  I am slowly gaining back my strength and stamina.  I continue to lose weight as it is hard to keep nourishment in my body.  I go down about a half pound a DAY!  HA - this is a weight loss program I WOULD NOT recommend.  I am adjusting to all the NEW things and feel like I have a grip on my life!  I saw Dr. Sklow for my two week follow up last Thursday and he does not want to see me until I am finished with the new round of chemo in the fall.  It will then be time to reconnect everything and get this PORT out of my chest!  I CANNOT wait!  It is going to be a long summer.  I see Dr. Bott on Friday June 8th.  I am assuming I will start chemo Monday June 11th.  My friend who is going through the same course I will be undergoing says it is a great WEIGHT LOSS program.  She has a lot of nausea and finds it difficult to find anything that sounds good to eat!  I am hopeful that I can take enough antinausea medicine to keep myself going!  As with my last round of chemotherapy, this type of treatment may thin the hair - I won't lose it!

There are so many people to pay TRIBUTE to this week.  It is hard to know where to start.  First and foremost, I am THANKFUL and BLESSED to have a great family!  I love them so much!  I cannot begin to express my LOVE and APPRECIATION for their SUPPORT.  My Brothers and Sisters have stayed in touch with me and have been concerned for my welfare.  This has been such a hard thing to go through.  I am trying to do it with grace and dignity but it is still very HARD!  It was during the past week that I really felt like a CANCER PATIENT!  UGH!  When I saw Dr. Sklow last week however, he said my disease is 100% curable and that if I do the last bit of chemo I should live a great life!  I WILL heed his advice!  He is the EXPERT - and I LOVE him!

I am THANKFUL for my husband.  He has been by my side through this whole NIGHTMARE!  I cannot begin to imagine going through something like this alone.  If you or someone you know is ever alone in this battle please let me know.  I will BE THERE for anyone who needs me.  I am thankful for my children.  My girls have been so amazing.  I am brought to tears just thinking about how supportive they have been to me.  I love them so much.  Kamie and Mike flew out again over the weekend so I was able to see her two times in two weeks.  Kelsi and John AND Charlotte had us all to dinner while Kamie was here.   Makes a mama's heart feel so GREAT!  My oldest son Kasey had a cornea transplant during this time and spent a few nights at our home while he was recovering.  One night there we sat - Kerm who had a headache, Kasey with a transplanted cornea and a sore eye and ME - getting over surgery.  Kasey said it reminded him of a MASH episode! 

I pay TRIBUTE to Beckie Davis.  I have known her for many years and though we live in the same homes, we have been in and out of same wards at different times.  How GRATEFUL am I that she is currently in my ward.  She is am amazing, positive, brilliant lady who has helped me SO MUCH!  She is a wound care nurse at Utah Valley Hospital.  She has come over to help me SEVERAL times when I have been stuck and for that I am eternally grateful!  I know she is there for me and I am humbled by her help to me!  She is truly an ANGEL on earth who is in my life and who I NEED!!!  There are OTHER ANGELS to whom I pay tribute.  You know who you are!  I LOVE YOU!

I am THANKFUL for FRIENDS who have been so incredibly supportive to me.  Friends from all over the world.  The notes and messages mean so much to me.  I am THANKFUL for those who have brought in food and have offered such great support to us.  Every little act of kindness means so much.  THANK YOU!

I pay TRIBUTE to Haley and Chase McCormick.  Haley is the oldest daughter of my brother Kurt Frischknecht who died tragically ten years ago in a horrific car accident.  I miss him so much!  I can still hear his voice in my head calling my name! When he passed away he left his wife and four small children behind - Haley being the oldest, sister Daryn, brother Blake and brother Kade.  Kade turned 3 the day after his daddy passed away.  Haley and Chase have been married two years and have been the residents of our basement apartment.  They are AMAZING young leaders who have touched the lives of MANY!  Haley has been here with me through many hard times during the past 2 1/2 years.  I can honestly say she has been my right hand LADY!  She is wise FAR beyond her years and together they are simply an AMAZING couple.  She graduated from BYU a year ago and Chase is now completing his work at UVU.  They will be MOVING ON very soon and I will miss them GREATLY!   During the past two weeks they have been HUGELY supportive and loving to me.  Kerm and Kasey had to leave for Penn State for several days after I was released from the hospital.  I was comforted by the mere presence of this great couple!  I LOVE them and will serve them for the rest of my life! 

I would urge EVERYONE to NEVER take life for granted!  Life is precious - Life is great - If anyone is struggling please contact me.  I will help you in any way possible!  Take every precaution to maintain good health!  Get your CHECK UPS!  They SAVE lives!  I am THANKFUL that my STRENGTH is returning.  I pray for STRENGTH.  We all have our ups and downs and each and everyone of us has our STRUGGLES!   Struggles are stepping stones - learning experiences that get us closer to our ultimate goal of one day returning to our GOD!  I pray for STRENGTH!!

Please continue to pray for me.  I am still recovering and it will take some time.  I still get shots in my stomach every day which is SICK!  I HATE shots!  Especially in my stomach!!  I need all the prayers I can get in my behalf.  I am THANKFUL for the prayers and support in my behalf.  Please pray for my family!  Keep my  name on the prayer rolls.  I FEEL the support.  I know it works!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:   "The Really HAPPY Person is the One Who Can Enjoy The Scenery When He HAS To Take A Detour!"!  I have had to take a DETOUR on my life path.  I am HAPPY though because I KNOW that I will soon be back on track.  STAY HAPPY!   LOVE AND HUGS TO ALL!

CONTINUING WITH MY JOURNEY.....

The last week has been a PURE BLUR!   Thursday May 10th was an ALL liquid day - drinking nasty stuff getting ready for the surgery Friday morning - May 11th.  Ugh!  I am so done with broth and jello so I just drank all I could without having to have that stuff!  My daughter Kamie arrived from Dayton, Ohio at about 8:30 Thursday night and I was so THANKFUL and COMFORTED with her presence. Friday morning we left the house at 5 am to make it to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital by 6 am.  Kamie and Kerm were with me the whole time. We checked in and immediately a nurse came to take us back to start the IV, get the blood work, etc.  I HATE ALL THAT STUFF.  I HATE blood work.  I HATE IVs!  I HATE all of that.  Kamie had requested the OR nurse and the anesthesiologist who would be there to work with me.  They came in and calmed my fears.  I told them I do NOT like seeing the inside of the operating room.  I like to be OUT before I get there.  I don't remember anything else so they did a GREAT JOB!!

My biggest fear of that day was the length of the surgery.  It took a long time.  8 hours to be exact.  Evidently during surgery I reacted to the pain because they gave me more and more anesthesia.  It took about four hours in recovery and  longer to get me to the room.  Kerm and Kamie were there but I don't remembe much about that.  I get really sick with anesthesia and I do remember dry heaving.  UGH - until now - throwing up has been my WORST thing ever.  In fact - I am THANKFUL I raised four NON-BARFERS!!  I remember only one time Kerm was not at home when 2-year-old Kamie threw up.  He had to walk me through the clean up of that day time BARF over the phone! !  The other times he was at home and he took total care of those poor babies whose mother couldn't DEAL with it!  Gosh - I've learned a lot since then!

Saturday I was still trying to realize everything happening to me.  Obviously I was able to make a facebook post!  GOSH!  I was still so out of it as I was on SUNDAY too!  I was vaguely aware that my family was there but let's put it this way - there wasn't a WHOLE LOT of two way conversation going on!.  Kamie had to leave at about 8:30 Sunday morning to make it back to Ohio Sunday evening.  She and Mike are coming back for Memorial Day weekend.  That will be a much better conversation - I can PROMISE!.  Thank YOU Kamie.  Thank you for coming to support me and DAD!  He needed you there and I am so THANKFUL you were able to be there!

So let's get to the nitty gritty.  Monday evidently I did pretty well - STILL a BIG BLUR.  In fact - I did not put my contacts in until Tuesday and I had a MAGNIFICENT ROOM with a MAGNIFICENT VIEW!  Too bad they kicked me out so fast!.  Tuesday I was asked if I could walk four times around the whole floor by myself.  WELL - that was a NO BRAINER - to be honest - it was really really hard.  It was probably my worst day but I did all the stuff I needed to do in order for them to tell me I would probably go home Wednesday.  So much for the 7-10 days.  They kept telling me I was a ROCK STAR.  OK - that has NEVER been on my bucket list but gosh who wouldn't want to be called that??  I could have cared LESS!!!  My nurse told me that there was a girl in her 20's on the floor  who has colon cancer.  She would not get up - she would not do what they asked.  I want to go back and talk to her - Maybe Monday or so.  I will try to help her.  I can only imagine her acute depression.  They said she WOULD be there for the two weeks at least probably.  BLESS HER HEART!

I was called this morning by Dr. Sklow!  I LOVE that guy!  He is an amazing human begin and an excellent colorectal surgeon.  Both of his parents have succumbed to this awful disease!  I just kept telling him - if I were your mom - what would you do?  He would tell me honestly and in direct detail.  I did what he said and I am so THANKFUL.  He gave me the stark pathology reports!  I am so THANKFUL!

Dr. Sklow removed one foot of my colon.  I can't tell you how excited I was to hear that - NOT!!!  But this is the DEAL!!!   He removed 24 lymph nodes - ALL were CANCER-FREE!  There was a small tumor deposit in some fatty tissue which he said was not a big deal!  The tumor was that half-dime size and ALL the margins were completely CANCER-FREE!   I had honestly been waiting on pins and needles for those results!  I am GRATEFUL! 

The BAD, AWFUL, ICKY part??  I was left with a TEMPORARY ileostomy.  If you don't know what that is just google it - I can hardly even talk about it - let alone explain it.  BUT - Each day is one day closer to getting it reversed.  I am hoping for about four months.  He told me he wants me to have more chemotherapy.  It will be a little harder on me than the original chemo - but NO MORE radiation.  That should leave me cancer-free REALLY!.  So in about 4-5 months I should be BETTER. 

This is going to be a LONG SUMMER!.  I am in this  for the long haul.  I can do this.  I do NOT want to do this but remember I have said a million times - I CHOOSE TO LIVE!.  I have work to do.  I KNOW it - I FEEL it and it is inherent in my very SOUL!.  So a few months of AWFUl is a small price to pay.  I just need to get through day by day! 

I need to tell you this - my HUSBAND stayed with me the WHOLE time.  He pulled out that miserable little sofa and laid diagnonally and was there to attend to my every need.  I KNOW that is why I was able to do it.  I am so THANKFUL for him - to him - for EVERYTHING!.  He IS my EVERYTHING!  I am BLESSED! 

So THANK YOU to EVERYONE!  I am so THANKFUL!.  I have been BLESSED!  I still feel in a bit of a blur but - just so you don't think I am SLACKING - I did three loads of laundry today.  I worked REALLY REALLY hard for about four hours last night to NOT THROW UP!!!  I had only been taking ONE HALF of a LORTAB - but I am off of that.  It makes me so SICK!  I have had two ibuprofen today.  I was asked my a home health nurse my pain level on a scale of 1-10.  I said honestly I don't even think it has been a 2 since the whole ordeal began - so HUGE BLESSING!!! 

I STAND AS A WITNESS that GOD LIVES!  I STAND as a WITNESS that the POWER of PRAYER is GREATER than ANY power on EARTH!  I have been truly blessed.  Yes - I have some awful icky stuff to do but I will do it and I will help others and be of service the rest of my days!  THANK YOU!  My LOVE to EACH and EVERYONE of YOU!.  I am BLESSED.  I am HUMBLED and I am THANKFUL for all the SUPPORT.  PLEASE continue praying.  I need your prayers.  The worst thing that hurts is the stupid shot I have to have in my stomach every day - given by BUBBA!   It HURT today!! 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:  GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!!!  LOVE AND HUGS!!!

PUTTING LIFE INTO PERSPECTIVE....

On my bucket list of things to do BEFORE I DIE was to fly a kite again.  Honestly I cannot remember the last time I was actually able to fly a kite and sustain it for any length of time.  When our children were small we helped them fly kites.  We had Simone, Lukas and Stella stay overnight last week so we purchased a few different kites and had a great time flying them.  I love the feeling of hanging on to the kite and having it freely fly in the air! It was a GREAT adventure! I love feeling FREE!

Last week I was lucky enough to watch Little Miss Charlotte Mellor while her mama had her hair done.  It was truly a joy to have all FOUR grandchildren there at the same time.  Of course Charlotte slept the whole time but it won't be too long until she will be able to play with the rest of us!  When Kelsi came to pick her up Simone asked if she could just feed her and leave her again so we could play with her!  It was a great teaching moment educating the three of them as to what new babies REALLY do.  I had them repeat the three steps to Kelsi.  Babies simply - Eat, Sleep and POOP!!! 

I had a phone call from a friend on Saturday May 5th.  She had heard of my diagnosis and told me of her daughter who is 33 and has been in the hospital THREE WEEKS!  Because she is so young the physicians had a hard time actually diagnosing what her problems were.  The diagnosis came back last Wednesday as Stage III colon cancer!  Heather is 33-years-old - has four small children and has been diagnosed with colon cancer.  Kerm and I immediately went to the hospital to visit.  While she was growing up I had been Heather's Young Women's leader at one point in time.  It was wonderful to see her again and to spend a little time with her - sharing stories of OUR MUTUAL disease.  It certainly puts life into perspective.  I am 58 years-old.  Heather is 33-years-old - the ages of my own children.  It just goes to show that CANCER is a disease that affects people of all ages.  Every person on this earth has struggles and problems.  Please pray for Heather.  I received a text from her this morning - still at the hospital with complications and she was headed back to surgery.  Time spent there is now OVER three weeks.  Bless her HEART! 

Kerm and I were invited to a wedding at the Timpanogos Temple last Tuesday.  Beautiful Chelsey married her handsome husband Philip!  I was Chelsey's visiting teacher a few years ago.  I was thankful to be invited and it was truly a spiritual experience for me that day.  George Durrant was the sealer and he gave some wonderful advice.  Everyone has PROBLEMS.  All people have different experiences in life that helps with the growth that happens while we are on this earth.  He advised everyone in that room to pray for STRENGTH.   STRENGTH to overcome the trials and tribulations that will certainly come upon us.  That again puts life into perspective.  It is too late for me to pray NOT to have cancer.  I already have it.  My prayer is for STRENGTH to overcome that disease and go through the surgeries that will help me be CANCER-FREE!  Thank you for inviting me that day Chelsey - It was a BEAUTIFUL day!

I have had a great few weeks.  It has been a time of healing from chemo and radiation and trying to regain my strength before surgery. I have been able to accomplish the things I wanted to get done before surgery.  I did FLY A KITE!  We have been on our bicycle built for two every day. I have my garden ready to plant today.  My yard is in shape - with the exception of the flowers I plant yearly.  I will wait until I get out of the hospital so I don't have to depend on others to water them for me.  Kerm and I spent a weekend in Las Vegas at the Wynn Hotel and were privileged to see Garth Brooks.  What a great EXPERIENCE!  If you have a chance to see him - do it.  It is a GREAT SHOW!  We did not shop - we did not even get to the pool.  I slept a lot and we watched movies in the room.  It was great to be away and get the rest I needed without having to worry about things to be done at home!  I was actually EXHAUSTED!

My surgery is scheduled for FRIDAY MAY 11th.  I will be HONEST.  I am SCARED - scared of the unknown.  I have no clue what to expect and that is my fear.  I have GREAT FAITH however, and I know I will be fine.  I finished all the ironing today - joking with Kerm that if I don't come back - at least I got his shirts ironed!  I LOVE ironing and I know that is crazy!  I would ask you ALL to please pray for me.  Pray for me this week and especially Friday morning.  The surgery will take at least EIGHT hours!  Please pray for Dr. Sklow and the people who will be working with him.  I WANT TO LIVE!  I have so much more to accomplish on this EARTH and I am praying to be given that chance!  I want to be CANCER-FREE and I want to be able to HELP OTHERS!  That is my desire - to spend my days exhausted in the service to others.

I love my FAMILY!  I love my FRIENDS.  I am SO THANKFUL  for the many BLESSINGS that I have experienced during this time.  The last few months have been a time of great strife in our lives!  I have asked just a couple of times WHY?  The answer is WHY NOT?  I know there is a lot of growth in STRIFE - but GOSH - ENOUGH ALREADY!  The BLESSINGS have far outweighed any STRIFE and we are so THANKFUL!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: 

To awaken each morning with a Smile Brightening my Face;

To approach My work with a Clean Mind,

To hold ever before me the Ultimate Purpose toward which I am Working;

To meet men and women with Laughter on my lips and Love in my Heart;

To be Gentle, Kind and Courteous through all the Hours;

To approach the Night with weariness that ever woos Sleep and the joy that comes from work well done,

THIS is How I Desire to Waste Wisely My Days.....

LOVE AND HUGS TO EVERYONE!  I AM BLESSED!