CONTINUING WITH MY JOURNEY.....

The last week has been a PURE BLUR!   Thursday May 10th was an ALL liquid day - drinking nasty stuff getting ready for the surgery Friday morning - May 11th.  Ugh!  I am so done with broth and jello so I just drank all I could without having to have that stuff!  My daughter Kamie arrived from Dayton, Ohio at about 8:30 Thursday night and I was so THANKFUL and COMFORTED with her presence. Friday morning we left the house at 5 am to make it to the Huntsman Cancer Hospital by 6 am.  Kamie and Kerm were with me the whole time. We checked in and immediately a nurse came to take us back to start the IV, get the blood work, etc.  I HATE ALL THAT STUFF.  I HATE blood work.  I HATE IVs!  I HATE all of that.  Kamie had requested the OR nurse and the anesthesiologist who would be there to work with me.  They came in and calmed my fears.  I told them I do NOT like seeing the inside of the operating room.  I like to be OUT before I get there.  I don't remember anything else so they did a GREAT JOB!!

My biggest fear of that day was the length of the surgery.  It took a long time.  8 hours to be exact.  Evidently during surgery I reacted to the pain because they gave me more and more anesthesia.  It took about four hours in recovery and  longer to get me to the room.  Kerm and Kamie were there but I don't remembe much about that.  I get really sick with anesthesia and I do remember dry heaving.  UGH - until now - throwing up has been my WORST thing ever.  In fact - I am THANKFUL I raised four NON-BARFERS!!  I remember only one time Kerm was not at home when 2-year-old Kamie threw up.  He had to walk me through the clean up of that day time BARF over the phone! !  The other times he was at home and he took total care of those poor babies whose mother couldn't DEAL with it!  Gosh - I've learned a lot since then!

Saturday I was still trying to realize everything happening to me.  Obviously I was able to make a facebook post!  GOSH!  I was still so out of it as I was on SUNDAY too!  I was vaguely aware that my family was there but let's put it this way - there wasn't a WHOLE LOT of two way conversation going on!.  Kamie had to leave at about 8:30 Sunday morning to make it back to Ohio Sunday evening.  She and Mike are coming back for Memorial Day weekend.  That will be a much better conversation - I can PROMISE!.  Thank YOU Kamie.  Thank you for coming to support me and DAD!  He needed you there and I am so THANKFUL you were able to be there!

So let's get to the nitty gritty.  Monday evidently I did pretty well - STILL a BIG BLUR.  In fact - I did not put my contacts in until Tuesday and I had a MAGNIFICENT ROOM with a MAGNIFICENT VIEW!  Too bad they kicked me out so fast!.  Tuesday I was asked if I could walk four times around the whole floor by myself.  WELL - that was a NO BRAINER - to be honest - it was really really hard.  It was probably my worst day but I did all the stuff I needed to do in order for them to tell me I would probably go home Wednesday.  So much for the 7-10 days.  They kept telling me I was a ROCK STAR.  OK - that has NEVER been on my bucket list but gosh who wouldn't want to be called that??  I could have cared LESS!!!  My nurse told me that there was a girl in her 20's on the floor  who has colon cancer.  She would not get up - she would not do what they asked.  I want to go back and talk to her - Maybe Monday or so.  I will try to help her.  I can only imagine her acute depression.  They said she WOULD be there for the two weeks at least probably.  BLESS HER HEART!

I was called this morning by Dr. Sklow!  I LOVE that guy!  He is an amazing human begin and an excellent colorectal surgeon.  Both of his parents have succumbed to this awful disease!  I just kept telling him - if I were your mom - what would you do?  He would tell me honestly and in direct detail.  I did what he said and I am so THANKFUL.  He gave me the stark pathology reports!  I am so THANKFUL!

Dr. Sklow removed one foot of my colon.  I can't tell you how excited I was to hear that - NOT!!!  But this is the DEAL!!!   He removed 24 lymph nodes - ALL were CANCER-FREE!  There was a small tumor deposit in some fatty tissue which he said was not a big deal!  The tumor was that half-dime size and ALL the margins were completely CANCER-FREE!   I had honestly been waiting on pins and needles for those results!  I am GRATEFUL! 

The BAD, AWFUL, ICKY part??  I was left with a TEMPORARY ileostomy.  If you don't know what that is just google it - I can hardly even talk about it - let alone explain it.  BUT - Each day is one day closer to getting it reversed.  I am hoping for about four months.  He told me he wants me to have more chemotherapy.  It will be a little harder on me than the original chemo - but NO MORE radiation.  That should leave me cancer-free REALLY!.  So in about 4-5 months I should be BETTER. 

This is going to be a LONG SUMMER!.  I am in this  for the long haul.  I can do this.  I do NOT want to do this but remember I have said a million times - I CHOOSE TO LIVE!.  I have work to do.  I KNOW it - I FEEL it and it is inherent in my very SOUL!.  So a few months of AWFUl is a small price to pay.  I just need to get through day by day! 

I need to tell you this - my HUSBAND stayed with me the WHOLE time.  He pulled out that miserable little sofa and laid diagnonally and was there to attend to my every need.  I KNOW that is why I was able to do it.  I am so THANKFUL for him - to him - for EVERYTHING!.  He IS my EVERYTHING!  I am BLESSED! 

So THANK YOU to EVERYONE!  I am so THANKFUL!.  I have been BLESSED!  I still feel in a bit of a blur but - just so you don't think I am SLACKING - I did three loads of laundry today.  I worked REALLY REALLY hard for about four hours last night to NOT THROW UP!!!  I had only been taking ONE HALF of a LORTAB - but I am off of that.  It makes me so SICK!  I have had two ibuprofen today.  I was asked my a home health nurse my pain level on a scale of 1-10.  I said honestly I don't even think it has been a 2 since the whole ordeal began - so HUGE BLESSING!!! 

I STAND AS A WITNESS that GOD LIVES!  I STAND as a WITNESS that the POWER of PRAYER is GREATER than ANY power on EARTH!  I have been truly blessed.  Yes - I have some awful icky stuff to do but I will do it and I will help others and be of service the rest of my days!  THANK YOU!  My LOVE to EACH and EVERYONE of YOU!.  I am BLESSED.  I am HUMBLED and I am THANKFUL for all the SUPPORT.  PLEASE continue praying.  I need your prayers.  The worst thing that hurts is the stupid shot I have to have in my stomach every day - given by BUBBA!   It HURT today!! 

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:  GOD BLESS US EVERYONE!!!  LOVE AND HUGS!!!