REFLECTION

December 31, 2011 - WOW - what a huge day of REFLECTION!!   A reflection of the past year - where I have been - what I have done and where I am headed!  I have been so BLESSED.  I have also been diagnosed with CANCER which I know will turn out to be a BLESSING in my life and in the lives of others!  Already I can list SEVEN people who had not yet had colonoscopies - but scheduled them at the end of the year.  I amTHANKFUL these all turned out to be normal. 

We just returned from Salt Lake City where we had brunch with ALL of our children and with Simone, Lukas and Stella on this beautiful Saturday morning.  Our daughter Kamie and her husband Mike Snure came last week from their home in Dayton, Ohio.  Kelsi and her husband John Mellor returned last evening from their vacation in Honduras.  This was the only time we were ALL together.  I treasured the moments today.  Parting was incrediby sad as Kamie gave me a hug and told me I would be OKAY!  I LOVE  my children dearly.  I am so THANKFUL for them in my life!  I LOVED those couple of hours together. 

Simone, Lukas and Stella spent the night at our home last night.  They are such a HUGE BLESSING in our lives.  In my life!  I love them to the moon and back!!  I love them to pieces!!  Their energy is so incredibly infectious!  They laugh at the silliest things!  Their laughter permeates our home.  Stella went to sleep at a DECENT hour!  Simone and Lukas then decided we needed to make PENGUINS of all things!  Simone had made a penguin in school during December and instructed me how we could do it.  I had all the items necessary with the exception of the little moving eyes.  We used sequins which were great substitutes!  When it was finally time for them to settle down we said the prayer and grandpa had the task of helping them quiet down.  I laid down on my bed with the excitement of quietly watching the 10 o'clock news.  I could hear grandpa getting more and more frustrated with the increased amount of laughter coming from the bedroom.  They laugh over anything and everything!  Simone is 8, Lukas is 6.  Stella 3 1/2.  Simone and Lukas are on a FARTING kick.  I know that may sound graphic but to hear it from my bedroom across the hallway is so incredibly hillarious!  I was laughing so hard the tears were streaming down my face.  Grandpa had had ENOUGH!!!   I went into the room and immediately sent him back to his!!  The fun was OVER!!   We laughed and laughed a little more and they finally settled down.  I love love love them!!   They make my life worth ALL the hard times!! 

We will settle in tonight after dinner with whoever can go with us.  We will quietly welcome in the NEW YEAR!  Each year I reflect and hope and wish and assume it will be a great year.  I have no reason to think any differently this year.  I am HOPEFUL for a MIRACLE and for a CURE!

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I will work hard at doing my spring cleaning.  I can hardly wait to get it done and settle in for six weeks of treatment.  We have had ONLY an inch or two of snow in Utah so far this year.  I am hoping for many FEET of snow so I can build a fire in the wood burning stove and enjoy my days watching the snowy beauty outside.  Thursday January 5, 2012 I will have a procedure at LDS Hospital in Salt Lake to STAGE my disease for sure!  I have been waiting for that patiently and now is it almost here.  I do not truly know what I am up against.  I know I have cancer.  I know I have treatment in front of me.  I do not know to what extent - YET - I will find that out Thursday.  I go straight from the procedure back to Provo to the Radiation Oncology Department to start my radiation.  The chemo will start immediately.  Thursday evening I will go to bed with a clear understanding of where I am and the JOURNEY I will take to get to where I need to be.  Please Please Please continue to Pray for Me and My Family!  Wherever you are please put my name in the Temples!   Bubba and I frequent the Mt. Timpanogos Temple.  I am THANKFUL for that BLESSING!

I wake up each morning and feel NORMAL - UNTIL I turn over and feel the Portacath that is implanted about 3 inches underneath my left collarbone.  I look in the mirror and look NORMAL.   I used to worry about new wrinkles - not anymore.  I love and cherish all of them!  They tell a story - They tell MY STORY!!  I have FAITH and HOPE and BELIEF!  I am anxious to get ON WITH IT!  BUBBA turned 60 December 26th.  Our children gave him a gift certificate - Two nights at the WYNN in Las Vegas - March 2-3 with tickets to GARTH BROOKS March 3rd.  We LOVE Garth Brooks.  It is something to truly look forward to - I need to be finished with treatment and  hopefully surgery by then and be well on my road to recovery.  It was a GREAT idea to help us look ahead and have something exciting to do!  Like I said before - I love love love my children!  They are all amazing!

At the end of 2011 I have been reflecting on EVERYTHING - my LIFE-  my RELATIONSHIPS - my FAMILY!   I have a saying by Phillip Brooks which I have spoken about before while motivating others.  I would like to SHARE it with ALL of YOU!

"Dear Friends,
You who are letting miserable misunderstandings run on from year to year, meaning to clear them up some day....  You who are passing man sullenly upon the street, not speaking out of some silly spite, and yet knowing that it would fill you with great remorse if you heard that one of these men were dead tomorrow morning;    You who are.... letting your friend's heart ache for a word of appreciation or sympathy, which you mean to give him some day.... if you could only know... that "The Time Is Short", how it would break the spell!  How you would go instantly and do the thing which you might never have another chance to do". 

I have no idea how much time I have left upon this earth.  I will tell you that I do NOT take my time for granted.  I have ALWAYS spent my life trying to HELP others.  I will continue that practice!  I am so BLESSED and so THANKFUL for each minute.  None of us has a guarantee on how long we may journey upon this earth.  I would PRAY that all of US will do the things each day that bring GLORY and HONOR to the CREATOR of all of us!

HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:   "Be at War with your Vices, at PEACE with your Neighbors, and let every NEW YEAR find you a Better Man".  .... Benjamin Franklin